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Fuck your boyfriend, he has no empathy.
Your Dad being in your life and visiting is a non-negotiable.
So the bottom line here is, your boyfriend doesn’t want your Dad (your only close family) to stay over once a month because your boyfriend can’t tolerate your father’s behaviour?
It sounds from your comments that your Dad has ADD and can’t help a lot of these traits and your boyfriend has no tolerance for it.
This is not a person you want to share the rest of your life with. Once a month is not a huge amount of time, your Dad is not being overly burdensome and he probably misses seeing his only daughter.
She needs to be working on these insecurities without displacing frustration onto you. It’s also weird how she has bad insecurities, but chooses to do nothing about them
Lack of trust…? She caused that sh*t! End the relationship and tell her “when I ask to see your text, I trust that you would show me freely and I wouldn’t find anything. Like you would willingly give it to me to give me confidence that there is nothing going on.” Forget that…. If you cannot freely look over your SO’s phone, there is a problem. Walk away.
Honestly, as a married dude whose a smidge older than OP, I found the over-the-top repetition of “raw” to make me question the validity of the entire post.
I hope that you can understand where so many people are coming from in these comments. You spoke about a single incident so we can't be sure, but often in these age gap relationships there is a lot of financial/emotional abuse and control happening from the older to the younger. We are concerned for you and for your child, and I can personally say that i hope you can make and execute an exit plan safely and get therapy and have a better life. You do not exist just to work to pay bills and die. I obviously don't know where you live but I'm sure there are resources available to you if you can begin to look for them. My heart is with you.
So you ran your businesses during nap times and bedtime? Must not have been very labor-intensive businesses.
Tell him he can act like that when he goes without you but if your around you'd rather he just order his meals and eat them . … Like anyone else at a restaurant.
The thing is, I’m open to more, but he was originally the one who didn’t want anything more than casual. And since I’m not interested in dating someone who isn’t interested in dating me, I managed my expectations and have been able to keep things casual. No problemo.
I just don’t get it – I guess cause, for me, if I’m in a bad place mentally, I’m more likely to seek out support from those I care for – and if I were in his shoes, and “catching feelings”, I’d definitely want to get closer instead of further away.
For him to tell me he might want more but then pull away, is very confusing for me.
I agree which is why I think everyone should live! alone/not at home or with a significant other for some time to actually learn independence and how to support yourself. It’s like people rely on a significant other to always deal with that stuff and if they outlive their spouse then they expect their kids to handle that. I could never be so dependent on another person.
Also, I’m very sorry for your loss.
Break up with him. He is emotionally abusive and manipulative.
Texting your parents isn't remorseful. It's manipulative. Have fun as a single dude in Spain.
Okay, sure. But literally every person that comes to mind fits scenario 1 not 2. And I also disagree that it's a problem exclusively for narcissists. Plenty of normal people are content burying their heads in the sand and have 0 excuses.
I'm sorry if you feel like my statements have attacked your situation in some way and being worn out by politics is one thing, declaring yourself above them is another entirely
You sound incredibly immature and you are both both ready to get married; especially to each other. Fucking 32 years old and doesn’t have the balls to have a grown up break up conversation.
I would try to discuss it with her further in case the issue is porn rather than the masturbation. Maybe try to have her reflect on it and write down a letter to you instead of face to face?
She may be able to make videos, with or without you, for those specific situations when she isn't available. I understand you see it as harmless and that's totally legit, but if she doesn't, then you have to decide if it's more important than your relationship with her since it seems at the moment it's causing a huge wedge between you.