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Don’t wait too long! You’ll psych yourself out. Just give yourself a little bit to make sure you’re okay. A secret relationship sounds like it would have been stressful.
Great friendships can recover or continue without any hiccups even if one person has feelings that the other doesn’t. But honestly, especially if you’ve never held hands before, it sounds like you’re in with a chance 🙂
Does it happen any other times or only when related to sex? Yawning can be from simply tiredness to medical conditions or medications. Lack of b12.
You think she's posting pictures to “attract another mate”… ?
Find some adoptive/foster parent subs.
Take things slowly. You don't know this child and she doesn't know you. Start with visiting her and spending time with her, if time allows, and gradually transition into over nights and weekends.
Don't rush things. Adopted and foster kids will tell you one of the big problems is their new parents pushing the, “bog happy family, mom and dad,” thing.
Don't overwhelm her with big fancy things like trips and shopping sprees. Do quiet thongs together. Remember she will, likely, be overwhelmed herself. She is leaving the only home she knows.
Talk to her. Find out what she likes, who her friends are, etc.
When it comes to her staying at your house, let her make her room her space.
No matter what a mess her mother may be NEVER speak badly about her mother. Answer any questions as honestly as humanly possible with answers that are on her age level. Don't be afraid to tell her, “I don't know.”
Please help her maintain a relationship with her maternal family. Even if it's phone calls and FaceTime. Her grandma is the only parent she has ever known.
I understand your point of view and it's kinda the reason i am worried. I have made sure to talk to her and to clear the air, and to be honest she was hurt by his behaviour but a lot of times he has tried to understood his antics. It's not something inherently bad he has done, it all makes sense within his “ethic” that was always announced. Now she's having none of it though, and I'm happy she's feeling something similar to rage. That sometimes can help. But she's really good with examining her emotions, and I think if she learns to do that she will go places.
Also in the past I have struggled with a former friend's exes, i was asked to report whatever they were doing everytime I saw them (one of them was my neighbour). So, i got really scared and avoided the guy at all costs lol. Together with other things it really scarred me. Let's say I'm facing my monsters too and I am happy this time I am in a much more mature setting
I will keep in mind your suggestion. Also, I really want to talk to him and tell him to move on with his life and stop bugging her even if comes from a “good place “. What matters the most to me is being there for her