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It does make you worried, uncomfortable and upset. Before worrying about being controlling worry about being honest in your relation and communicate properly how you feel. Incidentally there is nothing strange about how you feel. It is inapropriate and while some people may be ok with that I believe most people would not be ok with their partners doing what she is considering to do.
Choose the baby. He can be involved or not. Therapy asap
Leave
Has he actually lost interest in sex if so I suspect porn addiction if not he's negging you to diminish your self esteem. I suspect the latter as he also did the thing with the gym exercise comments and is comparing you to the ex.
The ex stuff is very insulting why do tou put up with this? I'd be gone and telling hum its co's his dick is too small.