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So everything you do in your life once you're in a relationship has to benefit both people and their relationship? People still like having fun while in a relationship and can wear what they want, people dress they do because they like looking like that.
You gotta be real insecure if you have a problem with your partner living their life.
Dating is different
Absolutely. I wonder if the majority of the comments against location sharing are from unmarried people. When you tie your whole life to someone, when you have properties and kids and pets with them, when you are their POA and first emergency contact – that is a whole different ballgame.
It's not even solely about trust. It's also about necessity. I need to know where he is from time to time. That doesn't mean I'm psychotically checking every hour. But if it's 5 o'clock and our child is asking where daddy is, it's nice to have an answer.
You do need to tell her. If you tell her, unprompted, now, you have a shot. If you lie to her and tell her much later, or she finds out, you do not have a shot.
If I were her, and you told me about this, and expressed that you will make some lifestyle changes to make sure this does not happen again, I might take you back. I do not recommend deflecting blame by talking overmuch about how this isn’t who you are or that it was just because you were drunk. Take responsibility for your actions, tell her you’ll accept her decision whatever she decides, and DO NOT trickle-truth her. Tell her everything up front.
My marriage survived a cheating episode because my husband came to me of his own accord and confessed, was really fucking sorry, and made demonstrable changes in his life around his relationship with sex. You have a shot. Don’t fuck it up with excuses or half-truths.
some people don't really think of the relationship ending as a possibility. they're like, “I hate it here, how do I survive?”
A gem is an understatement, wish you could see!
Your comments made my night!
I haven’t dated in while and I came in naked with this one lol so I’m just trying to stay calculated & remain centered.. I’m 28 now & I’m no longer trying to play games in my dating life. My time is too valuable
Jesus the lack of self awareness you have is frightening. You manipulated your way into seeing your secondary partner and wonder why your BF was mad and then you have the gall to say you feel cheated? Jesus you’re waving bright flashing red flags everywhere. I’m surprised he gave you 8 months…
It's already tough being able to afford everything,
Why are you in such a one-sided relationship? There are plenty of women out there who will want to be an equal partner, who will support you, who will pay their share of the bills, who will pay for their own wedding too, who will look for healthy compromises whenever possible.
she almost makes it seems like that I don't make enough money to maintain her lifestyle I guess?
She's not the type of person you can rely on when things get tough. Stop wasting your time with her.
“what's yours in mine, what's mine is mine” seems to be her attitude.
Couples can choose to have separate or combined finances, but at the end of they day, you have to be on the same team and it is a question of how you split. 50/50, proportional, money vs responsibilities (i.e. SAHP) are all valid.
But those agreements need to be in good faith and made together.
OP's fiancee seems to be dictating her red line, and it is a heads I win, tales you lose philosophy.
For me personally, that goes beyond “everything else about her is amazing” and in the realm of “what are her values and are they compatible with mine?” I find the arrangement and her attitude to be extremely disrespectful and condescending.
besides my dad’s house, however even going there is a stretch due to trauma caused from his abuse and alcoholism. Even though my dad has gotten dramatically better and our relationship has improved, I cant see myself living in that house with him.
So if your relationship ended today….what would you do? I understand you're struggling….but you can't just depend on your SO at your age…..this is extremely tricky.
We could always just stay in the studio until then, but my boyfriend has been dying for an upgrade and I don’t want to deny him that
OP, you can't afford an upgrade. Srsly, start being realistic. You need to find a living arrangement you can afford, and you need to have a back-up plan in case your relationship turns sour again.
You had a bad date with an asshole. It’s not that much more deep.
I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea. I am a bisexual man but still… I just can’t see my gf getting topped… I’m more 50/50 on that idea
Let it go.
Not helping to explain why stealing is OK.