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So you believe your ex would try to ruin your life?
She has a good heart and she loves me way more than I deserve, so no I don't believe she would. But if she came out of nowhere and put me in OP's situation I wouldn't just sit there and hope my view of my ex is correct, the stakes are way too high for taking chances.
I mean if the OP was really worried about his safety and freedom, he should have been more attentive about ensuring he had consent. It's a little late for that now.
That doesn't really fly. We all know, regardless of intent, that if we did something bad that could be punishable by law we wouldn't just sit there and let ourselves get fucked because “we had it coming”. Everyone should be their number one priority always, so OP needs to take the necessary measures to not end up in a cell being raped himself.
If the only reason she wants to be in counseling is because she is afraid to lose you, then you will be going through this exact same thing in the near future. As soon as she knows she doesn't have to worry about you leaving her again, her commitment to therapy and improving herself will drop off dramatically. Then she will slip back into the same behaviors that she had before.
This only works if her motivation is to improve herself for her own sake, and only then if you both put in a lot of effort.
Hope he is now your exbf, cause he lied to you and more than likely cheated on you too.
Sooo basically your husband cheated with your friend based on a fantasy you shared and assumed you'd be happy about it?
You really need to sit down and talk about this to ensure that you both expressly consent to things like this in future.
Were they his friends saying that? Obviously, I would assume they're covering for him and lying about the situation. Unless you can think of a possibility that you yourself took Benzos, this guy committed a crime (multiple) against you.