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I mean I think it has evolved a lot since we first met. I was 18 when I started dating him and I'm 25 now. My life has changed a lot over that time and so has his and so has our visions for the future.
How do you respond?
You could always adopt or become foster Parents!
He said he doesn't want sex before marriage, you've had sex before marriage.
He says he feels guilty and wants to wait, you say you can't do it. You need it to feel close.
Do you not see how you are contradicting yourself?
You say you've tried therapy it doesn't work, you can't be fixed. First that's not true. But finding a therapist is like finding a good relationship. It's naked to do.
Second, if it was true it would mean you should never be in a relationship. As you will always be toxic to those you love.
So pick. Therapy and stop fucking your boyfriend. Or no therapy and no boyfriend.
I think that’s usually the case but with some exceptions. Like if you adopt the dog from them but realize once you get home that there are unforeseen issues with other pets/kids or something. I think they do take circumstances into account. If you just say you changed your mind or the pet is too much work or whatever then yeah I think it’s one strike you’re out, but they could adopt an older dog privately through like Craigslist or Facebook or whatever, or just go to a different unaffiliated rescue/shelter that doesn’t share info with the first one. Not sure that’s a good idea, I don’t think it sounds like the wife should have a dog at all, but there are multiple ways to get dogs.
Is she a SAHM? It sounds like she is bored and lonely. She might need to get out more with friends or find a part time job or other activity.
To say that surely there's something wrong with them because they enjoy rough sex is ignorant to say the least.
That is probably not the best idea unless all the assets were op's coming into the marriage.
Wouldn't surprise me if he attempts it, op needs a lawyer.
She is bipolar (am OP)
No sex within Christian values involves everything so it's a weird line to draw to be doing everything except PIV. More so by the fact that you've been dating a month and have already been doing other things except PIV. Isn't a month kid of fast to go from not even kissing anyone before to kissing, oral sex, whatever else you are doing?
She may not actually be “stronger,” she may just have a stronger sense of boundaries. She has her own grief, but she is not asking or expecting that you take that grief on for her. She has processed it herself in a healthy way so that she can be a healthy partner.
You are framing this like an inherent quality – she is strong, so she doesn't need you as much. But it's actually work she's done, and work you can do as well. Calling her stronger on some level absolves you of doing that work, because if it's just a character trait then it's not something you can control. But you can control how you manage your grief, and that starts with seeing an actual licensed therapist whose job it is to ease the burden.
Would you like to restart the friendship? Are you with Pete?