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Your better than me. I would have went off, hit all of them, and kicked him out. The nerve of them to play with someone feelings like that and still think it's funny!! That's is not ok.
Congratulations. You now know how your current fiancee' behaves under stress and crisis. She has been straightforward and brutally honest on how she thinks about you. Great to know this before you married her.
you should totally lose 170 pounds and ditch the boyfriend.
Okay, but don't you think that makes sense? That she is allowed equal parenting time? Look at your reaction now that mom is saying no stayovers at your place. Don't you feel that's unfair and that you ant your baby with you sometimes as well? Want to give them a place and watch them grow up in your own home?
I think it's unfair to push the goal post further strictly because of how she feels and not because of an actual medical, social, or psychological reason.
So don't as for more time. You make a schedule. For example, Mon-wed at your place and Thurs-Sun at your place (you can do Thursday a switch somewhere half the day if you want it supee equal).
I'm not asking for more time than her. I just want my time in my own house.
Then in her days, when she works, it is on her to provide care for the babysitter. That could be her by not working fulltime, a babysitter that you both agree on or you can tell her you would love having the baby during her working hours and will make sure the baby is back with mom as soon as mom is done working.
If she decides not to work one day, she can keep her. I will not agree to a babysitter though because I don't want someone else raising my daughter besides us. On days that I'm taking care of her on “her days” I have no problem making sure she's home before mom is. Heck, I can even bring her by on her lunch.
But what you don't get to decide is what mom does during her time. If mom decides not to work fulltime and can afford that, but not afford a house due to that, that is her decision. Not yours. Because you aren't a couple and you don't get to decide what house a co-parenting should on-line in. And honestly, I get you don't want your baby to be raised by a babysitter or daycare. And I hope mom leaves the baby with you during working hours. But also, try to understand her viewpoint of hating the fact she has to work while you have a passive income. So work with her on that. Maybe sometimes with you and sometimes daycare could be a good compromise. Or maybe it isn't, but I hope you can try to understand her viewpoint on that at least.
If this is the point she's trying to make, it's not one she's making upfront. It has not been made known to me that she doesn't like that I have more time to give than she does and wished I didn't. I can understand being jealous. But to want to pay for a babysitter so that we have exactly equal time seems petty. I'm all for bridging the gap but not shorting myself for a precieved notion that I have too much time and preferring a more expensive option.
If she was that drunk, your husband is a rapist.
Press charges and divorce him.
You said her view of a relationship is 50-50, but with you contributing more financially, and her contributing more in other ways. What are those other ways? Couples do negotiate their own terms in a relationship – is there an agreement you can reach that feels equitable to both of you?
It sounds like you are not willing to sacrifice financially to move in with her, and she is not willing to sacrifice living space to move in with you. Until you can find a compromise that feels like a win for both of you, I don't think you should move in together.
You have valid concerns and should be able to discuss the situation with her. If you were single would you be looking to buy a house? I’d imagine you’d need to do what is best for you first and if your on same page w her moving in and paying rent until marriage etc but if not perhaps both moving in to a place and having a plan to transition to buying a place together means marriage first etc. otherwise seems like you’re setting yourself up for a headache and should see if living together and planning a future together is even possible
Also renting can be expensive but so is buying a house, getting married and fixing the issues with property etc
Could OPs wife adopt the kid?
That's a big gap between the issues happening with your first and then having a second
He can’t control his thoughts? Wtf lol. Everyone can control their thoughts. Unless they have no self control at all.