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Looking at your post history. Why are you still with her?
You may tend to connect feeling value for yourself with romantic or sexual approval. His avoidant attachment style comes from being hurt and your urge to seek approval outisde comes from feeling hurt, too.
You guys need to open up and “lovingly force” each other to stop acting hurt in secret.
I think that will have to be his next action. He does not make a lot of money but I'm hoping he can find some way to get a lawyer involved in this.
Don't waste your life with someone that old and probably not even faithful