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I was young when I cheated on him and was a completely different person than I am now
My ex recently texted and now I don’t know how to bring up to my boyfriend that 1) I’ve been texting him and 2) I just wanna see how he is.
Apparently you aren't.
Yeah, I think that'll be next. She had a hard enough time bringing it up to the first one and so far I don't think she really wants to delve into it with a new one. Something that needs to be treated though, so I guess we can discuss a new doc and go from there.
Cut your losses and leave. He sounds like a loser.
Mickey Mouse is getting the nude action whenever you leave the house. Your bedroom is mostly dead. Have you tried any counseling? Your wife might have a porn addiction.
Ecaf, your GF's strong abandonment fear — as well as her abusive and controlling behaviors — may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no opportunity to acquire in childhood). My exW has this problem. If that is an issue for your GF, you likely have been seeing 3 other warning signs.
First, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes and mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to validate her “victim” status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the smallest, most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Second, you would not see her expressing her anger to casual friends, classmates, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her temper tantrums almost exclusively would be expressed against a close loved one (e.g., against you or her parents).
Third, you are convinced she truly loves you. But you often see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you), often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do.
Ecaf, have you been seeing strong occurrences of these 3 red flags?
Cheating aside, he's manipulative and abusive. Please seek help to breaking up with him like friends, family and even the police saying he's threatened to kill you
There is no good reason you should try to contact a man who used you, lied to you, and cheated on you. Save the money for the trip and get a therapist who can help you work out your reactions and where you had blind spots to his behavior that should have stood out as red flags.
Make sure you talk to them about maintaining healthy boundaries in a relationship so that you don't repeat this senario of giving everything of you hearth and life to any partner, and prioritiz8ng them to the point that your own good sense does not kick in when they're dismiss9ve, avoidant and rude to you.
She didn’t tell you bro stop playing yourself. You trying to make a hoe a housewife. Instead of justifying her choices just think about a really bad thought and it’ll make you break up with her. Here I’ll help.
“Her ex was probably laughing at you when he finished in her mouth.”
“He said make sure you give your man a kiss when you get home”
“If you get pregnant make sure he thinks it’s his”
Works for me when I’m am struggling to let go of things
Yes, I'd argue it's emotional infidelity, but even if we don't want to use that term to define it, it's objectively inappropriate.
So you're not crazy about that. But here we are. You told her. How she handles it is on her. As for you and him? It's over. You need to allow yourself to move on. Good luck.
Autism doesn't make someone act like a dick. He needs to stop blaming it on his autism.
Maybe you are projecting about the “not telling the whole story” thing
I do sympathise with you, as when you have an amazing first date it’s super hard to get that out of your date and not compare other dates to it!
Amy is correct, your relationship is concerning. Why are you just accepting everything your boyfriend says? It may be part of his culture for women not to be able to freely travel or it may be something he's telling you to make himself sound reasonable, obviously I don't know for sure, but either way you don't need to just do whatever he tells you to because culture. It's not disrespectful to think about whether something is right or not.
This is your first relationship and you don't have the experience to understand this isn't normal. Listen to your friends and don't cut them off.
He continues to tell me that this is going to bother him essentially forever and he might not be able to let it go. I
That is a red flag. Your boyfriend has been holding on to anger for weeks because he knows that someone outside your relationship is recognizing it's unhealthy, and he's worried you're going to wake up and he won't be able to control you as much. He's manipulating you.
Your friends are not toxic. It is o.k for them to care about you and ask questions. Do some research into what an emotionally abusive relationship looks like.
Your boyfriend is 37 and he's going after someone ten years younger for a reason. This isn't something you're going to be able to fix. You need to get away from this man. Social isolation is a sign of abuse.
Also, please go to therapy. You're going to continue to get taken advantage of if you don't work on your self-esteem.
She’s needs a therapist. Seems like she’s struggling more than just depression. My 26 year old sister has bpd and your daughters behavior very much reminds me of her.