Thank you discussing this with me. Its hard finding people with a different POV who actually debate and bring forth well thought points without reducing the whole thing to insults or ending it with a brutish STFU.
I get where you’re coming from and how the act itself, of both the manipulation and the affair, matter more than when it happened though I disagree.
I do fully agree with the therapist idea. I wouldn’t go to a family therapist first, I think a personal therapist would be better for OP to deal with the guilt and manipulation. The therapist can then recommend a family therapist if things go down that route.
As for your ending point, I think we both end up agreeing to disagree.
I understand you brought up the 10 years as an example in reference to OP being financially independent that I stated in my first post; but as I countered, OP can become financially independent right now while making some sacrifices if all this goes wrong. The question then is, are they willing to make those sacrifices or rather continue to suffer in quiet. Lets see if they ever make an update post.
Thanks again for the discussion, I wish you a good day. ?
I do not have a problem with her “downstairs” being not fully shaven, but leg hair, stomach hair and armpit hair I just can’t find attractive.
Then tell her this.
If you have a preference for body hair % that you can't get past, then tell your partner so they can decide if it's a deal breaker for them or if they can compromise. This is basic communication in a relationship. You will have to learn.
No.
Dump her, mate. You can trust her.
As a 40m myself, Im disturbed by those comments.
Thank you discussing this with me. Its hard finding people with a different POV who actually debate and bring forth well thought points without reducing the whole thing to insults or ending it with a brutish STFU.
I get where you’re coming from and how the act itself, of both the manipulation and the affair, matter more than when it happened though I disagree.
I do fully agree with the therapist idea. I wouldn’t go to a family therapist first, I think a personal therapist would be better for OP to deal with the guilt and manipulation. The therapist can then recommend a family therapist if things go down that route.
As for your ending point, I think we both end up agreeing to disagree.
I understand you brought up the 10 years as an example in reference to OP being financially independent that I stated in my first post; but as I countered, OP can become financially independent right now while making some sacrifices if all this goes wrong. The question then is, are they willing to make those sacrifices or rather continue to suffer in quiet. Lets see if they ever make an update post.
Thanks again for the discussion, I wish you a good day. ?
I do not have a problem with her “downstairs” being not fully shaven, but leg hair, stomach hair and armpit hair I just can’t find attractive.
Then tell her this.
If you have a preference for body hair % that you can't get past, then tell your partner so they can decide if it's a deal breaker for them or if they can compromise. This is basic communication in a relationship. You will have to learn.