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Got it, thanks!
Maybe that's insensitive, because family planning is a personal issues, but imo: OP already has 3 healthy children. “Can I have even more children?” should not be more important than “How can I sever any connection to this violent abuser and keep myself and my already existing children save”.
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A lot of musicians actually run into this. I know a VERY successful artist whose partner AND children couldn’t care less of his band and work. This is more normal than you think.
For example, i code all day, do you think I’d want to pull it out to a partner that works as a dental assistant and ask for feedback and whatnot? Nah, miss me with that weak sauce.
Closing thought: They should definitely not be your number one fan, but they can support you and be there for you, just don’t ask it of them everyday.
She needs to have a conversation with her friend because that is an unreasonable ask for her to give up getting quality sleep every night. That being said, it’s still your girlfriend’s choice whether or not to continue being her friend’s alert person even if the friend clearly needs to make some adjustments. Not sure what your living arrangements are, but it would probably be best to sleep at your own place or in a separate bed while she comes to her own decisions about this.
You should take a sharp look at your husband's actions, and ask yourself why he would put so much pressure on you to risk your savings by giving it to someone who will in all likelihood, never pay it back.
Why would your husband do such a foolish thing? You've worked nude to get some financial security for your own children. That money is for your kids' future.
Did your husband brag to his father about the money, misrepresenting it as jointly owned? Does FIL know the money is only accessible by you? Is FIL leaning on your husband to “exercise his rights as a husband” to force you to give it to him, or some other manipulation that makes your husband feel weak?
You should not give an inch on this. Don't give your FIL a penny.
This! My boyfriend and I laugh together all the time, even over the most pointless and dumb things. Sometimes we just dissolve into giggling fits together over nothing just because we're enjoying our time together. The key is happiness and being able to relax.
This man speaks wisdom. Apply for a job in Skagway Alaska for the summer, it’s fun, cool people , fun shit to do and lots of single lady’s.
You want her to have a relationship…with the man who r@ped you.
I want you to read what you wrote again. Imagine your daughter is telling you her husband is like this. She's leaving for her safety but she still wants her kids to have a relationship with this clearly unsafe person.
Does that make sense to you?
This comment section is a mess
This is just anecdotal but it’s amazing how many men I saw get more conservative after they got married. Same guys would rally around women not changing their names and raising daughters to smash the patriarchy, suddenly would make derisive comments just a few years down the road that would make their wives give pause or end relationships.
Start simple. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half, draw something cute on the front — anything, a cat, a doorknob, a flower, a bug, whatever — and write “I have loved you with all of my heart since our first kiss, on our first date. You know who I am, and you accept me for that. You wake me up with your snoring and I can’t even get mad anymore cause it’s another opportunity to see your beautiful face at night. You have been gone since eleven this morning and I miss you so bad. I’d slap my mamma if she ever spoke ill of you. I’d kick my old man in the nuts if he looked at you the wrong way.
Thank you for everything you do. I love you, not only for what you do for me and my family, but for who you are. I'm lucky just to know you.”
xoxox, etc.