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I could understand if you were asking this question after a year in to your relationship but 4 years!!!!!
Thats a long time to invest on someone. She could be someone hiding a lot from you. She could be a completely different person to the one you know and you wouldn’t have a clue.
I agree, and this is the hardest thing for me to do – to decide and actually leave.
Burying the lede here haha.
OP you describe no behaviour that you should be jealous of! You have a friend your boyfriend likes, and he made a dumb joke.
You can't trust your brain. BPD will mess you up in these situations. Its okay to say “im messed up about this” and discuss it.
This isn’t that unordinary. But its up to you whether you want it to come from you or someone else. I’d recommend it coming from you. It’s only 7 months in. Imagine being years in with a house, a family, a life, and this stupid shit being revealed. You can’t be selfish in these situations with the fact that you may lose him. In some cases you telling him now and him deciding to stay can help him build trust with you down the road. The fact that you’re willing to open up instead of hide it. You’re both very young but just think about those things.