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Find a therapist. This behavior and the control your exerting over your boyfriend’s actions in the name of ‘security’ isn’t healthy for your relationship.
OP, this wonderful, patient, sexy, funny and interesting man sounds like a wanker.
Your boyfriend is a dickhead and I would recommend getting rid of him or trying to safely rehome your cats. I would go with the former, personally.
He completely ignored your desire to introduce the cats appropriately and seems to be treating your cat’s response as a bit of a joke.
You say in your comments that it’s more like “he’ll tease me and doesn’t show physical affection and then will be glowing and totally infatuated the next”. That’s how the man who abused me started, by making me question the stability of the relationship. That inconsistency is a massive red flag, and you then try to say he’s not “cruel” but refer to it as him “teasing you” earlier in the same paragraph. Read your own words.
The love bombing, the moving in early, the cruelty towards animals…you see where your original description doesn’t fit, right?
Hey, if it is not possible, that's just how it is. If he rather have you not involved due to your connection, that is his choice. You aren't on your own responsible for him and he makes his own choices. His situation just sounds so sad.
Also ‘we’ don’t owe 10k, he does ?? run . It’s funny aswell because you said he is sweet, thoughtful, brilliant and handsome and the only person you can goof around with, I have a feeling only the last two can be true based on the right up. Unfortunately, you can goof around in court when you’re both getting sued for no rent payment . I can see this was from 17 days ago, hopefully you’ve out of there now
If she’s insecure, that’s her problem she needs to work on. As long as you don’t immediately flare up in defensiveness which reeks of dishonesty, there isn’t much more you can do other than reassure her. You’re engaged to be married, you don’t want to commit to that if you’re going to be grilled every time you have a positive interaction with another woman.
Also so lovely to read. We are certainly at two very different stages of life, which may make the future difficult! But it seems to be working for now. Thank you so much for your thoughtful words!
That honestly sounded like an exaggeration to me. Don't harass people with your food, but offering is alright in most settings
Block her and ignore her and her weird demands.
They are not your concern.
She is awful.
You have broken up and were not together long enough for her to genuinely feel entitled to anything. Plus she constantly cheated on you.
Just block her and literally say nothing to her ever again. Don't read what she writes. It's nonsense meant to get to you or start an argument. You want to inflict some annoyance, ignore her. She said it herself, she needs the attention. Stop giving it to her.
Ooh good idea. I have a feeling he just does it to see me react with disgust ?
asked if he’s watching me and waiting for my mistakes.
That's exactly what he is doing. And now he is punishing you (silent treatment) because you caught on and questioned him.
Y'all need counseling, individual counseling. His actions are abusive and you should never do couples counseling with an abuser.
I bet, if you really thought back on your relationship, you'd find other instances of him being over critical, questioning why/how you do things.
Does he even help you with your child? Help around the house? Doesn't sound like it. You are sick and should be resting and healing, doing what needs to be done for baby, that's it. He should be helping around the house and cooking on occasion.
This is going to cause problems throughout your career. Even people who say they understand and can deal with it will eventually get annoyed with you canceling on plans or running out to go to work when you're on call. You're going to miss out on social events and family gatherings because of work. Unless you get with someone who needs very little attention from you, you're not going to be able to meet their needs. This isn't about her not understanding; it's about you not having compatible lifestyles to each other. You've offered what you're willing to offer and it's not enough. You've decided that your career is your top priority. You can't also be upset that she's not okay with your lack of flexibility.
What do you all HONESTLY feel about this whole situation? What
You're simply not compatible.
However, lots of people will raise eyebrows given you're against your partner being a sex worker (selling live stuff), but have no issues interacting with another type of sex workers (prostitutes, whose living conditions were a lot worse).
Because this is a high school trip with minors AND legal adults.
Sexuality aside, your chaperones have a duty to protect the students that parents have entrusted to their care. Most parents find it VERY nude to send their minor children off on a trip alone for the first time. They expect that their children will be looked after by the adults.
So no. You don't just have minor coeds mingling behind closed doors on a trip away from parents.
My choir did a trip my senior year. I graduated in 2000. We went by bus from the Midwest to Orlando. Not only were we not allowed to coed mingle in rooms, we weren't allowed to visit each OTHERS rooms. We could hang out in the hallways, court, the lobby, by the pool etc but not in each other's rooms. That is because we were grouped by age. I was 17. My roommates were also 17. We also had juniors who were 16. And fellow seniors who were 18. Also had a couple people who's parents came along and got rooms separately. Those students had no restrictions.
At curfew (10 pm) we were “taped.” In our rooms. They put a piece of tape on the door with a chaperones stamp. If you leave and come back. There is no way to put the tape back.
This is a school trip. Not a frat trip for spring break.
He pretended it was on-line.
Which lunatic would stay in an live! relationship without ever seeing the other in real life for 6,5 years?
Yikes.
Like someome else said, he's showing his ass here. Obviously he hasn't learned during your relationship that they require give and take from both parties. The fact that he says he wants to be “committed” to you…but doesn't want to go through the actual steps MEANWHILE focusing on a breakup is astounding.
There are other things, aside from financials, that being legally married helps with. Since he doesn't want to deal with lawyers, I doubt he has a living will or a will? Who will be making medical decisions for him in the event of an emergency, like a car accident? His parents? Who will be making those financial decisions? His parents? What happens if the two of you have a child, planned or otherwise?
It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and that maybe you should reconsider this relationship if he's not willing to actually commit to you and this relationship (or make some concessions like a pre-nup at the very least).