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He didn't say she cheated over Thanksgiving. He said he took her home over Thanksgiving and his parents found out.
She was cheating and you caught her. Why haven’t you already broken up with her?
I would like to add that when we got married and were discussing names we went with my name. The reason was I have a child from a previous relationship who carries my name and I wanted to remain matching to her. When we had a second child he also had my name so that both kids matched. These are reasons. These reasons were thought about in great depth and discussed TOGETHER in a matter of hours at the time it was relevant.
Leaving decisions for 3 years is not appropriate. At this point you shouldn’t be arguing with us, you should be apologising to your husband and either changing your name or finding a half way point. Not one person here thinks you’re in the right.
OK thanks for clarifying, I thought SIL remove her daughter because there were racist comments made about daughter specifically.
It seems odd that she would claim that your husband made these racist and homophobic comments to his mother who would be offended on behalf of herself, her wife, & her granddaughter, all of who would’ve been affected by those comments.
If you’ve had a good relationship with SIL otherwise, I have no idea She would say all of these things, but it’s probably best to make other plans for a flower girl.
As much as you want them there, weddings are stressful enough without intentional drama being piled on top of the bride and groom. Sorry you’re going through this, that sucks
Honestly from what you e described it sound like you both may have adhd. I could be very very wrong but the repeated symptoms to me is what makes me think it’s a possibility because my adhd which I found out about last year had me doing similar things. I would put things in spots so I dont lose them or cause I need them for whatever thing. I also would when things needed to be cleaned I would put things places and then forget where I had put them hence needing a routine spot for things. I have a what I call fishbowl brain where basically if I can’t see it then I forget it exists even happens with people if I don’t talk to them in awhile. And as a young adult/teen it made me a liar in my moms eyes cause I would tell her I’m going to clean today after school but by the time school was over I had completely forgotten I said that to her and then she comes home and gets pissed and it was not good and it happened all the time. So this is a possibility but I don’t know you or her or how your brains work so I would recommend maybe get a screening online or just look up the actual symptoms not just the generalizations that they put live. Or look into actually seeing if you have it from a psychiatrist. I just know I would still be like that if I didn’t know better now so because I’ve had similar experiences I theorize you both could have it but also some people have issues with memory in general so it could also just be she is forgetful but to me the most important thing is to figure out if she’s doing it on purpose or not and to me it seems like it’s not on purpose but I do get confused on the note part unless she doesn’t see it or it doesn’t register in her brain that she saw it. I sometimes can be looking right at something and my brain hasn’t registered it’s there and I’m looking for it all over the table. Anyways just before going to nuclear options definitely either she’s just being a bitch and wants the place clean all the time and doesn’t care about what it’s doing to you or she is having issues maybe with her memory for whatever reason there’s millions of things that it could be whether it is adhd or maybe just an issue with either long or short term memory or maybe another thing like ocd or something like that. I hope you guys can figure this out you both seem to really care for each other. Maybe there is a different way to remind her like on her phone. I’m not sure other than maybe living apart which is something I have heard people do they live! separately from thier spouses and just on-line but I think this was with older couples or ones who don’t plan on having kids so it depends on your feelings and how you both feel about that but it is an option.
I would have said “You never met my dad. He died on March 1 and I needed space to grieve. You lying about meeting my dad to accuse me of cheating is atrocious.”
What would you have wanted her to say after finding you with your “friend”..at your place? “OH sorry..I interrupted your date”..”did you like the gift I chose for you “? Did you even go after her or say anything as she left? She knew this girl was interested in you. You chose your “friend” over your girlfriend..
Most men don’t joke about “just putting the tip in” and “already sleeping with her” if they’re not into it. I don’t believe him one bit. He clearly wants to sleep with her, and he’s manipulating you and making you feel bad by saying all this shit.