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   For some context, my boyfriend(28M) and I(27F) met when we where in college. My family is very conservative and, while they've never been rude to him, they've made comments that make it clear they don't love him. He's always had a lot of tattoos, piercings, long hair and I love that about him because we are opposites. Anyway, right after college we moved in together and got jobs, he became a freelancer and I started working for a big company, which made me the breadwinner. This is a role that neither he or I mind but my family and friends have always criticized.

   Recently I had a serious conversation with my bf and asked him wether he had any plans of proposing after we've been living together for 6+ years. He said he honestly didn't, that he doesn't feel the need to get married since we aren't religious and don't want to have kids. I told him that after growing up with my cousins and sisters' weddings, I've always had the illusion of getting married one day. He then told me that he would only marry me with one condition: I have to pay for the whole wedding (except his tux and his family's dinners), it can be however I want and I get the final say for everything, but it goes all out of my pocket.

   I told him it was fine and that I understood, I was very happy after hearing that because my bf never wanted to settle and this seemed like huge progress for me, so I decided to share the news with one of my sisters. When I told her she got mad and started making a lot of comments about how I've basically “mantained” him these years and that the least he can do is pay for half of the wedding. I tried to explain that that's not the way things are but we got angry and hung up.

   Days later I met my family only to be received with some sort of intervention of them telling me that we couldn't get married like that, that he needs to “man up” and start providing for us and that I'm just being used. Honestly I didn't care about their conservative arguments until my mother (the most liberal person in my family) told me that marriages are based on collaboration and if he doesn't want to get married or support with the wedding that I should consider things thorougly. While that kind of hit me I asked her if she would say the same if our genders where reversed and she stayed silent. Any advice?

   TLDR: My bf will only marry me if I pay for the whole wedding and while I don't mind my family doesn't approve.

   Edit: I've been informed that the phrase “settle down” has a different meaning to the one I originally intended. I apologize, english is not my first language and I thought it as a synonym to making it “official” by getting married.

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2. So what are you batching about? If he's working 12 hour shifts, 5 days a week he literally doesn't have any personal time! What else are you demanding of him? He already pays your rent!

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3. Do nude have a baby with someone you are only in a kinda good relationship with. Babies increase relationship pressure by about a million. Not even joking.

   Do not have a baby thinking that you will rely on others to help out or support you, it may not happen.

   People do say you are never ready for a baby the first time but you can be prepared by having a solid, stable supportive partner. You can prepare by being stable financially and career wise. You can prepare by being emotionally ready and mentally ready. Having untreated ADHD is not being prepared to have a baby come into your life, PND is a real and debilitating thing and it can shred you and your life if you don't have a strong support system.

   I'm not saying you couldn't do it but if you genuinely think you aren't ready then maybe you need to not go ahead with this pregnancy

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