Precisely. Because this is an emotional affair FOR HIM. HE contacts you when it fits his fancy, HE benefits from the extra attention you are giving him when he needs it. You fill the voids that he feels his wife cannot.
He does not care about losing you because you are an addition to his life as it stands. Losing you means he loses out on optional possibilities outside of his regular life. He has only your attention in the moment to gain from interacting with you and that is precisely why your feelings on all matters come second.
If he had come to her in the beginning and communicated that he had a problem before stealing, and was open to seeking treatment, it'd be a different situation. But he didn't do any of that. He lied for years and has repeatedly stolen from her. This wasn't a one off, it was a repeated series of conscious choices. And on top of all that, he's not willing to actually seek proper treatment, meaning this is probably just going to continue on and on and on. He is the one who needs to do the work to regain trust. OP is not required (morally or otherwise) to basically torch her entire life on the off chance that one day he wakes up and starts to give a shit. Because at the end of it all, he'll be dead and she would have ruined her life for it.
Heβs cheating now and he will again. Get rid of that clown.
Precisely. Because this is an emotional affair FOR HIM. HE contacts you when it fits his fancy, HE benefits from the extra attention you are giving him when he needs it. You fill the voids that he feels his wife cannot.
He does not care about losing you because you are an addition to his life as it stands. Losing you means he loses out on optional possibilities outside of his regular life. He has only your attention in the moment to gain from interacting with you and that is precisely why your feelings on all matters come second.
PLEASE DUMP THIS ASSHOLE
If he had come to her in the beginning and communicated that he had a problem before stealing, and was open to seeking treatment, it'd be a different situation. But he didn't do any of that. He lied for years and has repeatedly stolen from her. This wasn't a one off, it was a repeated series of conscious choices. And on top of all that, he's not willing to actually seek proper treatment, meaning this is probably just going to continue on and on and on. He is the one who needs to do the work to regain trust. OP is not required (morally or otherwise) to basically torch her entire life on the off chance that one day he wakes up and starts to give a shit. Because at the end of it all, he'll be dead and she would have ruined her life for it.