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Short story short, i’m (28F) stripper and from the jump I’ve noticed that he’s (33M) not as cool with what I do as he says. I’ve been open and honest with him from the jump, but there have been issues with him thinking I’m messing around on him. I have absolutely never, and would never dream of betraying what we have together. But it keeps coming up. It all came to a head when I did a photoshoot and he didn’t like the fact that I was wearing a see through shirt. This is part of club advertising for me and I, even before met him did shoots like this. I also told him what I was wearing, who the photographer was, and where we were shooting. He literally saw me in the outfit I modeled. He lost it with me over the phone after seeing the pics and told me to not call him and the next day texted me like nothing had happened. I tried to communicate with him and he kept shutting me down. I called him the next morning, asking to talk and he broke up with me. he gave super clear reasons and was super cold. I was a wreck. 8 hours later, he’s calling me and texting me about the mistake he made and apologizing. I love him so much and seeing him upset makes me so upset, especially bc I never wanted to break up with him in the first place. Do I go back?
I was scared of getting my feelings hurt
she is worth so much more than just me
You made some really powerful statements here.
Because how we feel forms beliefs and those beliefs form our behaviours/actions.
Feeling: unattractive, unintelligent, unworthy
Belief: you aren't good enough and won't ever be
Behaviour: you call yourself a loser and avoid emotional intimacy as you are afraid of being hurt and hurting others
The most significant comment you made is “I am scared of dragging her down” because I think this has more than one meaning.
It's based on how you view yourself (being low, not valued, not worth anything, being at the bottom).
Because you feel it and you believe it, you experience it. Your mind had made this real. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy
But the amazing thing is if your mind made these beliefs, your mind can make new beliefs and a new reality too.
It would be good to work with a therapist to understand the root cause of these feelings and beliefs. Knowing where they come from will allow you to resolve them.
I'm hugely biased in favour of hypnotherapy, especially RTT, because it's worked for me and I'm also training to become a practitioner. But there are other therapies too.
However, in the meantime, there are things you can do to make things better.
Start by actively stopping yourself from saying or thinking negative things and saying definitive statements (I've always felt like this, I've always been a loser, I'm barely average-looking, I'm not smart, etc).
As soon as these thoughts come up, stop yourself and intentionally think of or say something else. Anything else as long as it's not negative towards yourself.
Next, intentionally tell yourself positive things instead:
I have unwavering self-confidence, my self-esteem is soaring, I have phenomenal coping skills, my body image is amazing, I feel positive, I'm excited to be happy, I love myself, I attract good people into my life, I love and accept myself fully, I am worthy of love, I'm a good person, I'm smart, I'm resourceful, I'm capable, I'm valuable, I'm excited to learn new skills and be a success….
Make all the statements powerful, positive, and in the present tense. I am, I feel, I have… even if its something you want for the future. Even if its something you don't really think is true.
The subconscious doesn't know the difference between now and then and it doesn't know the difference between truth or a wish. It just does what it thinks you want it to do.
Also, spend some time imagining the life you want.
Also, visualise the life you want to have, the body you want to have, an amazing reality free from negativity. Don't be too unrealistic like growing taller or looking like someone else. Consider the improvements you want to and can make to become the person you want to be. Give it sound, colour, smell, texture – make it real.
Say these positive things and do the visualisations every day for the next 28 days. You can make a script and read it to yourself or make a recording to listen to. Repeat the phrases three times as we learn by repetition.
You'll be amazed at the difference.
I'd also recommend letting her know that you have feelings for her but are struggling with your self-esteem and aren't sure you're ready for a relationship right now.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable around her and consider her feelings as she was brave letting you know she likes you and it would be unfair for you to not let her know you appreciate it but need some time and support while you work on your issues.
Trust her and let her show you that people can love you for who you are, even if that idea is uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
Build a friendship and perhaps that will become the basis for something else in the future.
Take care.
No just a middle-class southern English upbringing, I’m British not American.
This. Op this isn’t going to do you mental health any good.
For your own sake start looking for somewhere.
For now.
It’s all good man, most of us also have to learn the very hot way.
Good luck!
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Gotcha. Are you still intending to continue the relationship?
Break up with him if your already considering it might as well do it. If he comes back to your house like my gf did then make a logical decision at that point don’t let him manipulate you focus on yourself. I broke up with her after 4 months she came back still trying to leave to this day I deleted all photos I just leave my phone waiting for her to go through my phone.
I feel like she may be exhibiting behavior that is indicative of an avoidant attachment style. I have done things similar to that to my partner, so much so that I did research on it and how to change it. The first thing you should do is bring it up just like how you did here but present it as more of a concern than a complain. She might not be used to thinking that her needs will be met the moment she feels however it is, so be forward in expressing that you will be willing to have conversations no matter what it is that made her upset. And when she does so, please be sure not to discourage it by reacting in ways that will make her feel step back. I know you said you’ve been working on your communication. I personally never think that process is over for me and it’s something I have to pay attention to all the time. Relationship therapy can help as well, but a lot of this will fall on her willingness and effort. But it’s your job at this point to be kind and clear with her that this is a problem. You don’t even have to do that in particular if you think it would be better received for you to make a clear request for your needs in communication as to what you would prefer instead. I know people like to refer to certain things as the bare minimum and this might be one of them but we all don’t feel the same way and experience the same things. Make the clear request as to your needs within the relationship and take it from there.
Sounds like you’re trying to push the blame onto your husband. This sounds like a very well rehearsed story to justify and garner sympathy for your actions.
Not to say that your husband doesn’t share some blame by being avoidant, but judging by your post you use divorce as a thread of emotional blackmail and it seems that it’s not so much your husband was doing anything wrong for you to be struggling you were just unhappy in the marriage and put that blame of unhappiness on him. The mention of being a “nicer wife” is also concerning.
You put a lot of emphasis around what you want, how you feel but very little about actually what the actual problem is.
Either way, the right thing is never to have an emotional affair and break up the family then dive straight into another relationship.
It’s okay to be unhappy with your relationship and not want to be in it at all, but anyone with any respect for their family or partner wouldn’t line up another relationship and instead actually work out the new family dynamic as a team instead.
Elements of narcissism leaking through too.
It's natural to be attracted to someone as they morph into a more natural mateworthy shape.
I'd cut them off or now. Honestly, he'd be gone for good. As for your sister, take space and time. It's ultimately up to her to regain your trust. But I have a question…was she so incapacitated that she was raped because she couldn't give consent? You haven't mentioned your husband's condition but it seems like he was OK to leave the house alone.
In person, with proof.
And be ready…very little chance it's going to be received well and probably isn't going to go how you think it should
My grandfather was my person. He raised me when his son played “uncle daddy,” coming and going as he pleased- not showing up for months at a time, living the bachelor life, and being a drug addict.
My grandpa did EVERYTHING for me, and more. He was my best friend, he was amazing.
My dad came back around and got clean and was more of a constant when I was 19/20. We had a fun relationship, but he wasn’t my father.
I didn’t want him to walk me down the isle, I wanted my grandpa.
I had to tell them and it was nude. I felt guilty and awful, but honestly? I had no reason to!
And you don’t either.
If it's for the sake of your toddler, they'll be in daycare/preschool at some point, right? That's the perfect time to meet other parents for your toddler to interact with. Also, common places like playgrounds might be a good way. There may also be groups in your area for this specific purpose.
You'll never trust him again. This is your life now
I backpacked through South America alone for four months as a woman an didn't get assaulted once so fuck that.
Have YOU EVER been walking one sole meter in her shoes?
God, lady. Yes, yes I have. That's why I'm saying she shouldn't just hope there's someone out there to help her when she moves out. I'm glad you found a network, but you were lucky. My network was stretched just as thin as I was. Living kids up from kindergarten? That's an effing luxury, some of us actually had to work as single mothers. Can't imagine who was paying your bills.
And I didn't let my kid have sleepovers just for my own convenience. It's crazy out there, she doesn't sleep over at anyone's home unless I've known them for many years. You may have had lower standards for your kid, but that doesn't mean OP has to.
Also: her partner will be over next year, if it goes as planned. So she just needs to cover the first year.
Lol. Are you sure you were a single mom? No baby daddy covering your bills? No boyfriend paying half the rent? Because you sound like someone who had a partner helping them. Trusting a boyfriend or girlfriend to leave their country and move in is nonsense. She isn't relying on that, and you shouldn't recommend she does.
I wouldn't be so upset if it weren't for the fact that he specified that he wants it with your friends.
That's way more thought about than a “we pick someone from a bar”, and crosses a lot of lines, in my opinion.