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He will continue the cycle of abuse until he receives therapy to sort through his trauma.
Having a crush isn't being in love. Don't put the cart before the horse. Shoot your shot, you're both young.
This is the stage where you decide if you want to be together and put the work and effort in. You need to now start working on your communication and foundation. But you can't do that alone.
So … Ask her if she's happy. Tell her how you feel and don't be afraid to be vulnerable around her. You deserve to know where you stand. She needs to be open and honest with you so create some time where you can talk without judgement.
I won't say this is impossible but I strongly suspect that if this were the case the wife would have brought it up, and the way OP harped on equality I don't think he would have minded equalling it. In fact in some comments I believe he said to this point all of their college funds have basically fallen on him.
What the fuck?? You're telling him it's okay to drink and drive? Why are you compromising on this? Are you okay?
I have tried this and variations of it. It doesn't work.
I can't afford therapy, I don't have a job anymore But yeah I was diagnosed with depression 6 years ago and it was never treated. I thought I overcame it by myself.
Once you get all the evidence you need, move out the next time he “goes out”.
Leave his computer open to the file and leave the business card for your lawyer laying on the keyboard. Then block his number.
I’m sorry this is happening to you.
I wish you and baby all the best.
He married you as a replacement mommy for his kids. He will always judge you on your performance in that capacity.
Of course it never occurred to him that he could make the cookies, did it??
This is basically how my spouse and I got together (minus the animosity with the ex, that was peaceful) and tbh it was less of a “I'm finally cured of my codependency and can now be in a relationship” and more of a “I've just learned about something that's affected all of my past relationships, and this person shares that experience, and because we see something rare and tender in the other, we want to learn to be better alongside one another. If that means taking things slow and learning it ISN'T a rejection and they hate me.”
I think two people starting out with the shared self awareness and goal of unpacking their baggage is more likely to be successful than one that's superficially based on what comfort you can pull out of the other person. Obviously people aren't always aware of where they are on that spectrum, and there can be bumps, but if you put in the nasty and uncomfortable work it needs, you can end up with something REALLY COOL.
No, he definitely said it because I was shocked when it came out of his mouth and asked him to repeat it. He denied saying it after my ex approached me at a new year party though!
Ask to see the video, smells like B******t to me.
Ask why he needs this if its because he's been cheated on he needs therapy. If its not i'd be inclined to think of it as either controlling/abusive behavior or projecting ie he's the one who cheating.
This is not normal/reasonable unless you have actually done somthing that requires the re-building of trust he is way out of order.
Relationships rarely a have a fixed date of origination and they just kind of drift organically toward either some level of commitment or dissolution. So you can't really fault this guy for keeping his options open prior to getting more serious with you ('cause that's basically just called “dating”). But if he started getting psycho territorial about you immediately that's a huge red flag. Even minus the glaring double standard, people who try to cut their dating partner's off from friends are just insecure, jealous and they don't trust you. That he exchanged some loaded texts with someone else early on in your dating process is infinitely less important than that he seems to believe you're just dying to jump into bed with all your male friends.
You never need a reason to leave a relationship but this is a pretty darn good one. Zero respect, no effort, you deserve way better
If the roles were reversed you’d all be accusing him of cheating or not being honest. If it’s just a joke, why keep it?