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Just as they express what they expect, kindly correct them on what to really expect from you. Charity it's a good virtue and has to be done intelligently. Listen expectations vs needs then provide as you feel it appropriate without causing mutual damage. Be honest, be clear. For example, if your partner wants to help your parents, then do it but set a time frame so they know by being helped they have the privilege of a second chance by looking an extension somewhere else and even if they are abusing your generosity they know if they don't act they are doomed by they're own not because of you. To give, to love and to receive and love back it's a privilege and a human need, nothing is for granted in life materialistic and emotionally speaking, set the boundaries in a healthy way by example. Set a budget for Christmas, for birthdays and do your best to be fair with them and with your own feelings. If you don't feel particularly generous that's it, you have to be at peace with yourself, and your finances. That's the responsible way. There's no obligation, you are not buying love nor you are for sale, people are just communicating their dreams or needs to you in case you can and wish to make It true. Unless there is some kind of emotional or manipulative blackmail in which the individuals will need to double check their family and human values for sure.
Yes you can say something like „Hey, we saw each other at the party and i wanted to ask you if you would like to have a coffee with me“ or something like that.
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Go look it up. I'm not going to do your homework for you.
Be honest with her in what you want, but believe her when she says she wants to break up, even if she changes her mind later. Do you really want the exhaustion of being unsure of where you stand all the time?
My honest opinion is that you are both acting with no integrity. Integrity is top on my list and it covers a lot. She either tells him or you stop. She’s using you. You’re cheapening yourself. That’s my take. It will end with a lot of pain. Your pain. Because she’s got a man. You’ll be alone. Internet mom here.
She's pretty much given me an ultimatum: Help her out with watching her daughter or end the relationship.
If you accept this arrangement, you'll get all the responsibility of being a parent with none of the authority.
Should I deal with the potential fallout or just walk away?
You've been with her for four months and she's prematurely introducing you to her kid and issuing ultimatums. Not healthy in the slightest.
Get out while you can.
It’s more common than you think. To deny the possibilities of what if is nonsense. No, it sounds like you don’t, I think you trivialise it. As a person who works closely with real victims of assault on the regular, 99% of it being my job, you are trivialising it. You’re literally demonising a young adult on his motives rather than educating him. People need to make mistakes to realise the error of their ways. Is his actions even close to actually physically assaulting somebody? No.
Do you think this kids going to get jail time over this “assault” no.
Then stop putting it in the same category as assault.
Honestly? Yes. A 13 yr age gap at those ages is a big deal and will come into play later.
So, he didn’t set an alarm to go out with his friends, didn’t ask you to get up and get dressed but it’s your fault the two of you didn’t make it for brunch? He’s lashing out at you and blaming you for things because he’s in a bad mood. Stop groveling to him and stand up for yourself.
He clearly doesn’t know how to not get her pregnant, so yes, OP is absolutely part of the problem.