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There could be a few things going on here. Firstly let me say it's not worth helping someone who doesn't want help. For help to really effect someone, they have to be open to it.
That said, in your situation this girl could either be leading you on or serious about hurting you if she stayed with you. Either way make one wrong move and you could make things worse. Instead of taking drastic action I think your best course of action is to observe for a while. If she still wants to stay friends, take that offer and see what happens. On the other side of the coin take this chance to heal and get over her, if something else come along, try it out. Don't spend your whole life waiting for her either.
Tell her in a serious conversation what your concerns are. Don’t go into something like that without having a full and uncensored conversation with your wife about it.
I mean my parents were illiterate and they survived somehow. As long as you have means to survive I don’t think it should affect the relationship with them. I mean I certainly wouldn’t care if they didn’t have a degree.
You could also just take a break from doing any house chores or asking him to do his for a few weeks and let him see what that reality looks like. (If you’re able to put up with the mess and stink)
But I think the big issue is he’s not listening to what you are saying and you can’t force someone to do that. They have to want to.
This! Your not the one that should be apologizing. SHE crossed a line that is not acceptable drunk or sober. If she tries to tell you you embarrassed her you need to make clear she embarrassed herself. It was even another house guest that brought your attention to her outrageous behavior
He lied about being drunk once when he was on vacation with his friends. He called me completely wasted and lied even though he was slurring. He had said when we talked about it that he was sad that I wasn’t texting him that much because he missed me. But that broke my trust. Took a while but I was trusting him again.
Also she’s 41 years old. Odds are she may have to take fertility treatments now just to get pregnant. Any woman over 35 is rolling the dice when trying to get pregnant at best. Worst case, the kid is usually born with more health conditions than most. Worst case, if she doesn’t let the sudden selfish fantasy go. A divorce lawyer would be a vital next move. Good luck
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All he means when he says that is that he isn't husband material. You're doing fine, move on from this chode.
UpdateMe!
Do you not see how pushing him away for 10-15 years would… Push him away? What did you expect?
Erm….
I don't know about normal, but I'd certainly discourage him from sniffing my face in public.
Does anyone else have the feeling that the ex/ sis’s husband is somehow going to end up being a victim of OP sister’s messed up reality? Or am I planning a soap in my head since it can easily get there? I can kinda see an update coming that she’s lying about the abuse in some way.
6 years?!
Move on
You’ve never had to be responsible for her. You chose that.