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I’m 10 years older than you and also dated a guy ~10 years older than me at your age. My advice? It sounds like you’re not ready to have a child, like your partner isn’t going to commit to you (which is important to you, as it is to me, and that’s absolutely reasonable). You deep down know what is best, so follow your gut on this one.
I know it’s cliché, but I’ve changed SO much since I was your age. I built an amazing career, travelled the world, moved overseas and found a partner that is truly committed and we are excited for our future. I’m so glad I didn’t settle with the guy I met when I was 20, and if I had been in a similar position I would have done/felt the same.
At 20, the world is your oyster and you have so many lessons to learn, things to see and life to live!. Having a child is a life changing decision, and who you have a child with is the most important decision you’ll probably make, so it’s one to really think through carefully.
Good luck!
You need support, too! This changed your life too and you weren't prepared. I would consider contacting any support groups, or individual therapy if you need to talk.
Run, run, run!
Are you the same weirdo who posts over and over about your job advisory person thinking you're weird because you checked out her co-worker?
I'm curious though, why would OP want to be with her knowing that she's essentially cheating on her boyfriend? She'll do the same to OP if they were to get together hyperthetically
See we have a few times- and it always ends up with the same response after going thru it and she will say that she will look over our ‘plan’ ( our joint document we got on it for things to do/places to stay ) but I know Thas just her putting it off… I was initially insistent that it would be a good idea and not to sweat the money because we only live once which she agreed but after this repeatedly being a thing I think I’ll have to be more blunt with the conversation
Thankyou for the advise tho- I appreciate it ☺️
Thank you SO much! This is what I’m saying! I do Hera him, I really do and tells me always be feels see, heard, and supported by me. I unfortunately don’t feel the same and I’ve addressed it over and over again. He IS anxiously attached and like you’ve said HE needs to work on it. I’ve even offered him a session with my therapist if he thinks it could help. I would cover it. I constantly talk to him and I’m always honest. But I’m not moving. I was just invited to a conversation with a bring manager. I wasn’t offered a job yet, and he’s acting like I was when all I want is for someone to share the excitement with me and I also told him that. I’m just so tired of HIM NOT hearing me at all when all I do is extend that and everything else to him. I would understand more now if it didn’t happen always, but at some point he needs to take responsibility and also understand how he hurts me, but it’s always like I’m the bad person for point it out, you know? Thank you for your perspective. I really appreciate it!
If you don’t have anything in writing, there isn’t much you can do. Never ever loan money you can’t afford to lose. He could just get cops involved because you’re harassing her.
He wasn’t on drug’s when I met him. He started working a trucking job and met ppl during his work day. He moved to my city and didn’t know anyone. He started this about 15 months ago. I only have his plugs information bc I added him on fb
I see this is resolved but I’m curious what you told her when she asked you? I know you had a plan for if she asked again, but what did you verbally respond with when she asked it?
Yes. Do it, tell her. But be prepared to have her blow up and stop talking to you. Love makes people do crazy shit. But I personally would still want to know in my heart I told her and was honest about her bf being an utter POS than keeping that secret and letting her get cheated on a million times, even if it means the end of her and my friendship.