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Weird maybe try seeing if she’d be open to couples therapy if you haven’t already suggested that
That’s basically what I’ve started doing. I just fear the place will literally become inhospitable. I basically hide away from the worse one of the two wherever possible because for certain she’ll ask me to do something more for her, to which I’ll say no.
So he is entitled about the fact that your dad called him out?
no sex before marriage
Oral
Lmao
she definitely said she wanted me to get “screened” for abusive behaviors
Is this even a thing therapists can do? How do you 'screen' somebody for being a shitty person in a short therapy session, when the person who has been intimate with them for 5 years apparently can't tell?
The background check is weird too. What kind of background check is she talking about? Like, a criminal record check? Is she going to get one too?
The background check doesn't seem super onerous to me. But honestly, if a person pulled this on me I would just start to question how rational they are and how well I know them. I probably wouldn't stick around.
Revenge cheating – petty, immature reactions to situations are a thing when you're young. Not always, but it's more likely to happen when you don't have years' experience of having been through multiple relationships. You realise what works and what hurts – and what you want more. Sometimes, some folks never learn or mature past that mentality.
My question now is how do you two argue? Have you had any big blow-ups or fights that displayed any concerns – and from either of you? How do you handle any conflicts?
Open and honest communication is really all you can do here. If she really has put that behind her and you both have good communication and empathy for each other, this is really your own insecurities that are making this hard. This is not her baggage, but yours. Are you finding it hot to trust her now?
Be observant, of course – don't just deny odd situations if they crop up, but also don't go looking for stuff to accuse her of. If there are petty behaviours you're noticing in your lives together in general, that might be a cause for concern. Otherwise, chalk it up to “young naive love” and move forward. Be open, be honest, and always remember that you are both on the same side – wanting the best for each other, not trying to tear each other down.
Good luck! If you find that you can't get over this admission of hers, talk to her about it! Again, make sure where you are coming from. Make sure she knows you are not accusing her of cheating on you (because she hasn't!!!!) but just the whole idea that a person can think it ok to do that to another person – that's what you're struggling with. Do not use her as an example, but merely that since you could never imagine doing that yourself, it was a bit shocking for you to hear someone choose that option.
Huh, I wonder what they would say if they ended up as the victim of your ex’s drunk driving accident.
You should ignore him. This is how he's going to act for every milestone you have. Moving in together, marriage, first pregnancy, etc. Healthy people don't do this. I can see a scenario where he cheats on you because you guys had a baby and he was so depressed the baby is now number one or some lame crap like that. Trust me, find someone else.
If they interact outside the game in any way, that's a different story in my book and rises to the level of cheating. If it's some BS idiocy entirely within a game, that's still a big issue that needs to be resolved, but it feels like something else in my eye.