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I second this. As fun as some of the other proposed approaches are, this is the one that will result in the least fallout with other mutual friends.
But if y’all have no mutual friends and you don’t mind not being the bigger person, then by all means send her nudes back to her or something else clever. Either way, cut off contact with this person completely.
I hope I'm not too late to this one. You really need to rethink your relationship.
I was you, many years ago. Except I didn't ask anyone for help and just dove into the whole house/marriage thing because I thought that's what I was supposed to do next.
Your situation is not going to improve, and doing any of the things she's basically demanding is going to spiral your relationship even more.
What is your method of birth control if she's not taking pills? Because you need to be very very very careful about falling into a baby trap. Condoms are not enough, in my opinion, and she should be using an IUD if you're going to have any sex with her at all.
You sound awesome, and I think you can find another awesome person who is into the things you are. Don't settle. And don't stress about hurting feelings. Someone always gets hurt, it can't be helped. You have to protect you. Go be you and discover just how happy you can really be.
I did, and it's glorious.
Remember that song “Fifty ways to leave your Lover?” There should be at least one that would work for you, so use it.
It’s was slow fizzle down. A bunch of people of this thread have asked if she’s gained weight and she has. I’ve asked if that’s the problem but she’s never said it is. But maybe it is? Maybe she’s afraid to say it? I am the bread winner, yes. But she has a pretty decent job too. No hiding that I’ve noticed
You absolutely made the right decision. I don’t respect someone who drinks and drives. There are to many options out there to drive drunk. Uber, taxi, waiting until you’re sober to drive, make someone a designated driver or have someone come pick you up.
I know it hurts but I would have down the same thing, ignore everyone who is telling you that you’re over reacting. I think they’re under reacting.
Your brain is just fine.
Hey OP – Some of the behaviors you mentioned seem more like autism and some more like an identity disturbance disorder, and perhaps even BPD. My ex has BPD IMO, and I recognize the lack of substance you are referring to. There are a lot of us over at r/BPDLovedOnes that may be able to get you some more answers.
Father of 2 adult children here. Here’s my advice.
Your family and especially infants, babies and toddlers come first. Your kid has a soiled diaper? Change that puppy. Kid needs to eat? Freed them. Kid needs attention? Take care of it.
Your wife also needs help and attention before you get to play. They’re your child too so don’t dump all the work on her.
My hobby is woodworking. I didn’t get a lot of time in the shop when my kids were young. It was a bit frustrating but there are priorities and if you want to stay married you have to get them right.
You can play your games after everything else is done.
The cat legally belongs to you. You have the paper trail with the rescue and the vet. In the eyes of the laws pets are property and your husband had no authority to give yours away. Reclaim your cat and lose your husband. Being irrationally jealous of a pet is delusional behavio.