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marymarymary, 24 y.o.
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It ain't it.
No, no. I'm glad you shared. It's very helpful.
The ex I compared to, she ended things and just went and married someone 6 months later and that devastated me.
It wasn't until I met the woman who cheated on me I actually thought I could open my heart to love again. Just how everything went, was so natural and wonderful until she did that. She seemed like she genuinely wanted what we had going on. That's why it hurt so much.
She was the one who wanted to go to Paris and do the full romantic thing. She came up with something and I was her longest relationship and she was the closest I had to my ex.
It just sucked.
I've had to learn who I give my time and my heart to. I tried to be too helpful and kind to people. These past 3 months ok really got distracted cause I got too embedded in a weird situation with a woman at work who's married, but she would really give off that vibe she wanted to cheat and shes even come running at me to talk, and said she hears my voice when I wasn't there.
But I know it's wrong, and it can be bad. But if people don't think twice about cheating, why shouldn't I just get something. But then the other thing is I know it's wrong and I need to stay away from her.
Now that I have, the pain from the cheater has come back
Yeah for sure. As predicted the situation is more complex than what was in the original post, AND also seems to be a lot about the daughter’s maturity.
You are too young to get married. You shouldn’t even consider getting married until you’re both at least 25. Statistically speaking, You are basically begging for an early divorce otherwise.
Even if you were old enough, your fiancé is not emotionally or mentally stable enough to be in a serious romantic relationship, let alone an actual marriage.
How do you deal with this? You insist that they spend a LOT of time in therapy if they want to continue this relationship with you. Do NOT get married to this person until they have dealt with their shit. They are NOT in good enough working order right now to commit to a life-long relationship. For real: you express that they made you uncomfortable and they spend hours crying and spiraling into self-hatred?? This is NOT someone who knows how to have normal, adult human interactions.
I appreciate this feedback. I have also taken short periods of time like this in the past to no avail. I do consider couples counseling since it's offered free through our school, and one of my jobs works closely with the office. Do you have any experience with it and know if it helps?
It's definitely his grandma's.