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Throughout this thread, you have consistently & repeatedly attempted to put words into people mouths, and to misrepresent what people are saying. You have attempted to twist peoples words to make them appear to be attacks against OP.
No one here has told OP she deserves the comment. No one here has told her that she brought it on herself. No one here has just said “be more supportive”. No one here has given bad advice, or given harmful advice.
In fact, every single comment on this thread has been supportive of OP. Just about every single comment has recommended, at a minimum, that OP seeks professional help for herself.
You need to stop putting words into peoples mouths. You need to stop misrepresenting what people are saying. Because honestly, what you are doing is incredibly disrespectful to OP, and what she has gone through. You are trying to create problems. And THAT is not helpful. THAT is what is harmful here.
Maybe she got into the mindset of having quiet time for herself and watch the kids having fun.
He is aware of your insecurities surrounding his ex, right? What if he’s intentionally using that against you? What if his ex didn’t even do the things he’s saying she did? He could just be using her to manipulate you into doing what he wants. He knew what he said would hurt you, he didn’t care though, so long as he gets what he wants in the end. OP, you deserve better.
Double team him, obviously
The point is:
you sound as if you expected from a boyfriend to at least try and online up to your expectancies.
Where he sounds as if already very frustrated for being unable/ unwilling to fulfill what you expect him to.
You are in a rollercoaster vicious circle, which will at some point lead to a breakup, if you don't learn to adult a bit more.
He works 7 days out of 7. Or so at least he says.
Meaning: 0 availability.
Obviously he has some other time off planned already, but not for you. 0 availability for you apparently.
He was able to take a day of for a child who isn't related to him even. Because “work was slack then”.
He can take time off for purposes deeming important to him.
Your birthday (or anybodies including his own birthday, we don't know) doesn't fall under events he is willing to sacrifice days off work for.
Draw your own conclusions.
He doesn't sound very committed and already slighy defensive and annoyed.
That makes you insecure.
You get klingy and whiney.
He gets defensive and annoyed.
You won't get anywhere that way but become an ex even before your own birthday.
Is there anything to change that game?
I honestly don't know.
Stop talking to him about your birthday, already.
Do your own thing. Make yourself happy instead of expecting him to do so.
If you’re sure about this just let it go. Sometimes people need time alone, and they’re too polite to tell you. Jus say sorry, “I hope you have fun,I’ll see you when you get back. Be safe.”
You trust a liar…
Tell her immediately.
great advice
I mean I mentioned many times in the phone call that we are dating when me and him were on the call. It’s all very very strange I know.
My ex had a fucked up mother like that. His whole family was mentally ill, bet they're still stalking me.
One of many reasons he's my ex.
You need to get rid of people like that. They're like parasites who will take any happiness from you they possibly can, feeding on your energy until there is none left.
Manipulating others like this should be a fucking crime.
Have you told your real-estate agent all about your unsatisfactory sex life and your fetish for stepsisters and feet?
At least in California , the Code of ethics is ingrained in the California Code of Regulations, so illegal/legal here .
Yes you should run. Who knows why the turnaround, but I promise you: if you marry him, you still won't have very much of his time and attention.
Just tell him. Stop with the “I don’t know how to react”. You’ll know how he reacts when you do tell him.
Like you said it would be a bit weird if you just completely cut her off without saying anything to him. So tell him. And then decide together the next appropriate action.
Nobody got time for that controlling nonsense.
I'm gonna be a bearer of some rough news for you ina rude way.
If it was going to work out, it wouldn't take 5+ tries to do so and I say this as someone that supports taking a break in some relationships. Especially ones that start as early as yours did. Neither of you are mature enough to deal with dating each other. You both should either learn how to actually communicate or cut each other off for good. You need to find yourself before jumping into another man's arms or 10-20 yrs down the line you're not going to have any idea about who you are as a person bc you're so afraid of being alone that you havent given yourself time to figure out yourself. Happy and successful relationships take time, effort, communication, and sometimes forgiving thoughtless stupidity. You aren't willing to put actual effort into your relationship with this guy so it's not going to work out for you. Either cut the cord or actually get serious instead of putting so much effort into being overdramatic about shit that you won't actually care about later.
I had already deleted them. Because it's not making me feel anything but anxious and sad.
Your post history is frightening. You need to do a lot more work. Leave this poor person alone. What you did to him is completely traumatizing. You victimized a person and are now wondering whether you should contact him because you miss him? Leave him be. You tried to ruin a life. This person has no good memories of you. What you did was truly foul.
How many of them had a history of cheating going in?
Absolutely this ⬆️! Stop feeling guilty & blaming yourself, there's no reason at all that you're to blame.
Send them what they send you. “I hope my own mother won’t complain about me being pregnant :)”
As it should!!! Just pay no attention to his opinions of you, and keep it moving.
I don't date people with opposing political views. Differences are absolutely fine, but I could never date a conservative right wing woman. Its quite frankly a turn off.
Just back off. You're a massive pain in the arse.
Your bf sucks. There has to be someone better than him. Hell being alone is better than dealing with this BS when he’s 34 years old.
Not really imo. If someone whose 28 is at the same life stage as someone whose 22, imo that’s weird. Sounds to me like he isn’t having luck with women his age which is a MASSIVE red flag imo.
Just mustering up the courage to have the conversaton
Meh after what he did break up with him through text and block him ..
If you do it irl he'll probably gaslight you again
And honestly if it was me I'd use his own words against him in the breakup text about how he always victimizes himself to deflect from criticism
And go on to say that you know he'll probably tell people a twisted version of the truth to paint himself as the victim because that's what he is a perpetual victim by his own narrative so he can avoid any accountability (And now you've realized he's just been projecting the whole time when he accused you of doing the same)
Maybe because the previous girlfriends saw all the red flags and ran! There are no prizes for staying the longest with a guy that's unfit for a relationship.
What? So much bullshit. Replace “read between the lines with : ” Ignore all the friendship stuff they both did and fabricate your own interpretation of op's motive” and you're golden.
And adore means to love and respect. And he did love her, and respect her decision.
I have ADHD and I'm in a rage for you. He's taking complete advantage of you!
She’s stringing you along as a safety because she’s miserable in her own relationship and hopes you’ll make for a soft place to fall when things come apart.
She is not your “friend”.
my thoughts exactly
Girl to girl: you’ve gotta respect yourself more. Know when to walk away from a man who simply isn’t (at the time) being a good partner to you. As with anything, you reap what you sow. Unless you’re good with disrespect for dinner everyday for the foreseeable future, quit sowing the seeds. Get up and get out and move on. You’ll be so much better off