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Birth Date: 1996-07-06
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We used to do it a lot before we officially got together (dating phase)
You don't seem super familiar. You don't seem to understand the laws around community care, the diagnostic criteria around different illnesses, or the research on care.
Get out and don't look back. He will not recover from this and while he is struggling with his childish reaction he is being at the very least mildly abusive to you. He is being very mean very judgemental and very hurtful. YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Your past is your past. He sounds like he is fixating on how he expects his partner to be nearly virginal.
Oh no! And my job requires I be VERY assertive. I am also a very extroverted person and I get in a lot of debates. Especially defending other people (just not really myself) I become a fearless lion.
But relationship wise, I tend to not like to l, I don't know, disapoint? I am very much a people pleaser in terms of family/love. I guess at some point in my life I associated that to being loved was to be perfect?
I got some good years in theraphy dealing with that negative belief, but is a working progress.
My therapist always says I should treat myself as kindly and understanding as I treat others. Trying to apply that, but it's naked!
Sounds like he got the ick from you somehow and went cold.
Sometimes your partner can do everything right and still accidentally cross your boundaries, especially when alcohol and non-con play (or a past of non-con play) is involved. Sometimes saying 'no' (or in this case the safe word) is really very hot… You don't want to disappoint your partner, you get all in your head about it and before you even realize what has happened, you feel disgusting as if something non-consensual happened. The problem is that it's all going on in your head and there's no way for your partner to know. Even though you consented, you didn't want to consent and that leads to some complicated feelings.
The people commenting telling you that you need to communicate aren't wrong, but I don't think they really understand. This has happened to me before in every relationship I've been in. I'm into some rough/non-con stuff and while sometimes I love it, sometimes I really don't. Unfortunately, when I get triggered, I freeze and I'm unable to communicate in the moment to tell my partner to stop. Obviously not a good mixture but it is what it is. It leads to me feeling disgusting and guilty because I don't want my partner to feel bad but I also want to communicate how upset I am. It feels like I have no right to be upset.
The truth is though… You can be upset and hurt without placing blame. You weren't able to communicate in the moment but you need to communicate now to make it better. You need to talk to him and tell him what happened. Reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong, but you still reacted that way and need xyz, whatever it is. Maybe you need him to remind you that he would never hurt you, maybe you just need him to know how you felt, maybe you need lots of hugs. That will rebuild trust and make you feel better, you might even feel closer after he reminds you how much he cares for you.
Block him
This just seems wierd, most people would save their porn as favorites on said porn pages and not in notes.
That said porn is fantasy and not reality. Don't get in your own head over this.
you are grasping at straws to try and invalidate OP’s point. The fact is majority of people when veryy drunk will slur, not walk straight, black out even. And that is what OP is referring to. I expect men to know when a woman is not in the condition to have intercourse. Funny how you speak on what is reasonable and realistic, but fail to understand OP’s reasonable point, instead you use the minority of situations to make your point.
Block her and move on. She's trying to manipulate you emotionally, and it's not going to get better.
If you're unhappy and he isn't changing after you spoke to him about it than end it.
Thank you, I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad to know the love isn’t what it used to be. For me nothing has changed, but it’s just barely there on her end. I know that if I push her to stay, it’ll only driver her further away. It’s the 7 years that just gets to me
Hey just because he was in your life doesn’t mean you have to get his permission to go about your life. By this interaction I’m technically in your life as well. If you two split up or take a break he has no more say in your activity than I do, and I’m some internet rando.
If I were you, I would get a handle on your finances.
Or he can very easily wait a week and say you are having medical issues at the moment, and he has to scale back until you have a diagnosis or some such.
And then in a month or so… we got a diagnosis, y'all. Baby-itis!
So he doesn't have personal income of 40K-100K a month, but that's business income locked into his business?
How much money is in your personal accounts?