I don’t think in this situation it’s wise for her to split between all three kids UNLESS she’s taken on a parenting role to your child and your child does not have their bio mother in their life. She needs to look out for her bio kids as a SAHM and because your other child may have other grandparents that may leave an inheritance. So you have to look at it from how many grandparents and parents are in the equation otherwise in the end your kid could end up with more than what’s really fair. You are a blended family. Financial stuff is far more complicated. If your toddler is 3 I’m assuming you’ve been married not too much longer than that?
If you want to stay with them for some reason you should really try to talk to them about it, maybe couples therapy. Its not a bad thing and can be helpful for couples who dont even fight. Never be ashamed for therapy. But do try to talk it out
You're in a LDR and that means he has a whole life that doesn't involve you. My suggestion is to schedule a call or FaceTime 2-3 times a week for 30-60 minutes, and stick to that. With any other texting etc should be assumed no response will be given until 24 hrs. If you get a response earlier than that the be very happy you did.
This is so sad to me – my dad viewed both of my long-term partners as sons (the one being now an ex and the other my husband). He had only girls and really loved all of our partners that were good to us all (there were a few that deserved the negative attention from him).
I guess maybe this dad already has sons so he's like ?‍♀️
She is 25, she is lucky her father still is paying some of her bills.
This is what prompts me to ask what you think “treating like an adult” means. I know he hasn't cut her off, but you seem to think he should, or that she's super-duper lucky that he doesn't.
My sons are about her age, and the idea that I'm not treating them like adults by helping them out as they get their feet under them seems pretty wild to me.
It isn't unfair- the daughter is almost 10 years older than OP was when he had her and she doesn't have a pot to piss in- she should understand that OP did his best with a bad situation and not browbeat him for not being independently wealthy at 22
i didn’t say it was funny, i am hoping for the sake of womankind that u are not actually out doing this and are making it up for your own personal fantasy or whatever
From what you're saying. He's told you that he's not interested in a serious relationship. It's probably why he doesn't seem too much interested in you.
He's interested in you. Just not in the way you probably want.
I don't feel that matters, but appreciate it can be confusing for her and she'll obviously bring it up if you quote this situation as a reason for the breakup.
Power play and the dynamics can be fun aspect of sex, withholding penetration from someone who wants it is one way this could happen. Making your intentions clear that you did not want it to happen yet but she forced it anyway is none of those things I've just mentioned and is not ok.
If I was you id mention how that can absolutely not happen again both due to the condom thing AND forcing something even regardless of the reason. If she doesn't take the conversation seriously that's when id be ending things. If you feel her whole behavior so far isn't something you can work with you've more than enough justification to end it immediately.
There is this thing on your phone that allows you to block. This is what you need to do, block and move on. It’s only been 4 months, stop wasting time on this dbag
Nah man, take one for the team. Stay with her toxic ass and don't let another man fall prey to her.
You obviously can't figure out you're in a very toxic relationship and have displayed simpish behavior. Especially if you bought her flowers and are trying to make it work.
You need Jesus my man. (As a term for a higher power cause clearly logic isn't working for you)
Exactly. He’s in a better position to say “If you wear white to the wedding, everyone is going to say you’re crazy”. When she objects, he should then say “No, I was at a wedding last summer where the mother of the groom wore white, and it was all anyone could talk about. Even moreso after a bridesmaid “accidentally” spilled a glass of Merlot on it. It’s just the wrong choice, where something else.”
Well you’re seeing why getting married so quickly is a bad idea. He never would have made it to marriage without rushing it. Not a great guy.
I think it’s great you’re realizing this so young though. I didn’t. Wasted ten years. You can get out of this early and find someone who appreciates ya with very little time lost.
Get rid of him. You’ll find someone who wants to try. That’s like the bare minimum.
Op, no one else is saying anything but “for sure the baby would be born in May” like it's the gospel.
My due date changed three times, by weeks, while I was pregnant due to measurements. Original due date was late May, then mid June, then finally July 4th. I was induced on June 30th because the doctor measured the baby and felt that she had not grown in between appointments and was afraid that it was due to failure to thrive. I gave birth that evening to an otherwise healthy but thin and very long legged baby girl. I wouldn't blow your whole world up with accusations just yet.
I don’t think in this situation it’s wise for her to split between all three kids UNLESS she’s taken on a parenting role to your child and your child does not have their bio mother in their life. She needs to look out for her bio kids as a SAHM and because your other child may have other grandparents that may leave an inheritance. So you have to look at it from how many grandparents and parents are in the equation otherwise in the end your kid could end up with more than what’s really fair. You are a blended family. Financial stuff is far more complicated. If your toddler is 3 I’m assuming you’ve been married not too much longer than that?
If you want to stay with them for some reason you should really try to talk to them about it, maybe couples therapy. Its not a bad thing and can be helpful for couples who dont even fight. Never be ashamed for therapy. But do try to talk it out
Even though you both work and contribute? Are you saying she trusts you or are you trying to make her sound irresponsible?
She made a play for your man. Keep that on m8nd every time you feel the need to apologize for yelling her name.
1,000,000% YES this is extremely controlling
You're in a LDR and that means he has a whole life that doesn't involve you. My suggestion is to schedule a call or FaceTime 2-3 times a week for 30-60 minutes, and stick to that. With any other texting etc should be assumed no response will be given until 24 hrs. If you get a response earlier than that the be very happy you did.
This is so sad to me – my dad viewed both of my long-term partners as sons (the one being now an ex and the other my husband). He had only girls and really loved all of our partners that were good to us all (there were a few that deserved the negative attention from him).
I guess maybe this dad already has sons so he's like ?‍♀️
You seem to care more about not getting married than you care about your girlfriend.
She is 25, she is lucky her father still is paying some of her bills.
This is what prompts me to ask what you think “treating like an adult” means. I know he hasn't cut her off, but you seem to think he should, or that she's super-duper lucky that he doesn't.
My sons are about her age, and the idea that I'm not treating them like adults by helping them out as they get their feet under them seems pretty wild to me.
It isn't unfair- the daughter is almost 10 years older than OP was when he had her and she doesn't have a pot to piss in- she should understand that OP did his best with a bad situation and not browbeat him for not being independently wealthy at 22
Can you pink his post? Id love to read it too, I'm very curious what he had to say on it an the info he left out
i didn’t say it was funny, i am hoping for the sake of womankind that u are not actually out doing this and are making it up for your own personal fantasy or whatever
That can be stabilising in its own way though.
Knowing that their actions might provoke America is what keeps various lunatics (eg North Korea) from doing stuff.
From what you're saying. He's told you that he's not interested in a serious relationship. It's probably why he doesn't seem too much interested in you.
He's interested in you. Just not in the way you probably want.
Yea idk… tbh
I don't feel that matters, but appreciate it can be confusing for her and she'll obviously bring it up if you quote this situation as a reason for the breakup.
Power play and the dynamics can be fun aspect of sex, withholding penetration from someone who wants it is one way this could happen. Making your intentions clear that you did not want it to happen yet but she forced it anyway is none of those things I've just mentioned and is not ok.
If I was you id mention how that can absolutely not happen again both due to the condom thing AND forcing something even regardless of the reason. If she doesn't take the conversation seriously that's when id be ending things. If you feel her whole behavior so far isn't something you can work with you've more than enough justification to end it immediately.
Ask joe to get a pic of them next time they go, but be on your toes, you can never be 100% sure. Sad, but true
There is this thing on your phone that allows you to block. This is what you need to do, block and move on. It’s only been 4 months, stop wasting time on this dbag
Nah man, take one for the team. Stay with her toxic ass and don't let another man fall prey to her.
You obviously can't figure out you're in a very toxic relationship and have displayed simpish behavior. Especially if you bought her flowers and are trying to make it work.
You need Jesus my man. (As a term for a higher power cause clearly logic isn't working for you)
Exactly. He’s in a better position to say “If you wear white to the wedding, everyone is going to say you’re crazy”. When she objects, he should then say “No, I was at a wedding last summer where the mother of the groom wore white, and it was all anyone could talk about. Even moreso after a bridesmaid “accidentally” spilled a glass of Merlot on it. It’s just the wrong choice, where something else.”
Well you’re seeing why getting married so quickly is a bad idea. He never would have made it to marriage without rushing it. Not a great guy.
I think it’s great you’re realizing this so young though. I didn’t. Wasted ten years. You can get out of this early and find someone who appreciates ya with very little time lost.
Get rid of him. You’ll find someone who wants to try. That’s like the bare minimum.
I really don't mean this to be an asshole, but yes, it's you that has caused this man to break his vows after 30 years of being a good person.
You. You finally did it.
Divorce and find your happiness!
good luck ?✨
Op, no one else is saying anything but “for sure the baby would be born in May” like it's the gospel.
My due date changed three times, by weeks, while I was pregnant due to measurements. Original due date was late May, then mid June, then finally July 4th. I was induced on June 30th because the doctor measured the baby and felt that she had not grown in between appointments and was afraid that it was due to failure to thrive. I gave birth that evening to an otherwise healthy but thin and very long legged baby girl. I wouldn't blow your whole world up with accusations just yet.
Embrace it.
And with children.
Most don’t feel ready for children.
There is no manual.
What happens then is their milestones and you get to experience those. In fact you often make the celebrations for them. It’s unique in its own way.