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How does she even know that she (because, this should be her loan, not yours) would qualify for such a huge personal loan, with the amount of her debt vs income ratio?
This is so incredibly financially irresponsible. You have a huge amount of combined debt and only $10K in savings. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's just nuts to take on an additional $35K in debt.
Don't do it. Don't be dumb. If she wants to walk over her insane wedding demands, then let her walk. Please.
Oh, I know more about the nuances than you might think, as I lived them at one time. I don't disagree that everyone deserves their version of happiness, I just think OP is not going to get that from him. She FEELS degraded, not valued, and unloved, so if his idea of happiness includes her, he DESERVES to be disappointed and she DESERVES to be gone. If any of their friends and family want to know why, she is well within her rights to tell them.
I hear you. And Iโm not suggesting you need to break up with her. You grew up around people like her. You know what youโre doing.
Probably part of the reason she cheated on him
Have you considered taking a couples weekend or a family vacation?
I'm assuming he does pretty much all the childcare and house work, does he get time off? Has he had a break?
I'd also say it could be something else, girls trips have a certain reputation for cheating and that could be getting to him
I grew up in a very religious household – my father was a pastor.
It helps to look at the ten commandments as “a guide for happiness” more than a rule book. Ideally? We'd all like to have instantly found the perfect person for us in our youth and feel fulfilled with only them forever. However humans are more complex than that. We're imperfect. We have to explore and expand our experiences in order to build a solid future because it's not just handed to us like in a Garden of Eden
Also, Sop looking at her past partners as “just people who used her”. She had a right to explore her romantic options. Believe it or not, women desire sex too and you need to get out of the mindset that sex is “something you do TO someone” when it's something you do WITH someone.