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Definitely uses “dragon breath, bolts and spanners shower gel”
I also don’t like open-mouthed kissing except during “the dance with no pants” so please tell your husband there are LITERALLY DOZENS OF US. DOZENS.
I don’t have any trauma, but I do have what psychologists call “elevated disgust propensity” which means I’m grossed out by things most people aren’t very bothered by (and therefore more frequently disgusted). This is also likely true for u/Other_Brain_9705 given the plate thing.
Elevated disgust propensity isn’t super well-studied but it seems to be related to intrusive thoughts and obsessions and thus might be linked to ADHD and OCD. I do have ADHD but not OCD.
I have not found it difficult to date and am happily married to a person who is very physical and visceral in his affections and who is happy nevertheless to keep those affections within my comfort zone. For the record he also has ADHD, but I would describe his disgust propensity as unusually low.
I wonder if they're first cousins or only second cousins.
I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. You and ex broke up because you wanted different things in life. It happens.
As for your family… I’m not sure you can stop them being friends with the guy. After all, he did not wrong you in any way – no cheating or abuse of any kind. So why would they need to cut him off as a friend just because you two broke up?
I guess you CAN ask that you not be invited to their home at the same time, though. That’s a reasonable boundary. If they want to see you and the new guy, then the ex can stay home that day… or if they prefer him, they don’t see you. Simple.
Oof, this is a tough one for both of you for sure.
Ideally, she would have had a conversation with you beforehand knowing that this is something that does affect both of you, even if it's for a good reason, but seemingly unavoidable interruptions where you sleep every night is significant. But when approaching the conversation, don't focus on that, maybe just ask that in the future big things like this that actively affects your life, she talk to you and ask first.
As for the rest of the conversation, tell her it's great she wants to be helpful to her friend, but ask what the plan is long term for this. You both cannot be responsible for her health, and this level of care for her is coming at the cost of both you and your gfs health.
Emphasize that you want to be supportive and help but it can't come at the cost of literally never getting a full night sleep. If she responds well what if something happens, perhaps she needs more clarity from her friends' doctor about what exactly the risks are and how necessary constant hourly notifications in blood sugar fluctuations are.
I'm no doctor, but having several people in my family with type 1 and type 2 without constant monitors, if nightly blood sugar fluctuations were that dangerous that it needs hourly micromanaging while someone is asleep, their doctor would be recommending hospitalization, not phone notifications.
Probably right, doesn’t mean that OP shouldn’t try.
Who’s to say that she has only done this with this kid, maybe there is evidence of her trying with other kids, in the USA. This is the only one OP is aware of.
And even if nothing else, gathering any evidence OP can get, can be useful, as OP can make sure that he sends it to her family, sends it to anyone who knew her. See how long she lasts in her new relationship when everyone she knows is against her.
Hun what's good about this relationship? Your efforts always seem waste with a person who always complains.
UpdateMe!
Kind of a jump to go from kissing and groping, that she admitted to, too full blown sex. But I can see how one might jump to that conclusion
I don't think they are bad people but I don't think telling OP five years later makes them good people. It also sounds like looking back at her behavior back then, the guy friends may not have gone through with it if it were now.
This relationship should have ended back in 2013. He's a lying cheat and he'd be better served getting an STD test than a Covid test. You're nothing more than an ATM to him.
This is a lot to unpack… But I feel that a good starting point is couples therapy/counselling.
Then a second starting point is going to be communication.
You can't make her fall in love with you again, but what you can do is hear what her ideal parter would be like, then become that person yourself.
The thing is, you are who you are… but she might say “I want a partner who is like this”… and its on you to decide if you're willing to tune yourself to become that person. And lets face it, seeing effort from your parter to fill your desires, is sexy.
Yes absolutely. You say to him 'you know she's into you right?' and take the conversation from there. Certainly it seems too coincidental that they end up the only ones on these 'dates' to not be engineered. Ask your BF what he would do if the roles were switched and it was you hanging out with a guy one-on-one. What would he like to see happen?
I’m so confused. You were holding the baby? So like… how is that being shitty? It’s not like you locked him in the closet to cry it out. You were HOLDING HIM. Also, I mean you do you, but what always worked with my younger son was light up stuff. Snapped him out of it real quick every time.