This is absolutely an abusive relationship. And I would bet good money that when things are “good” it's because you're tiptoeing around, avoiding conflict, and letting him get away with shit he should not because you fear speaking up.
Just because he's not abusive in all the possible ways doesn't mean he's not abusive.
Here's a thought experiment: What would be the reaction if you went to your boss and told them you need them to direct deposit your income into a new account? And it was in your name only? Would you feel safe and empowered to do that?
If not, you are being financially and emotionally abused, at minimum.
I understand that it's nude to see this. I spent ten years in a marriage refusing to believe it was abusive. I just knew that if I could use the right words, have the right attitude, etc, all would be well.
I hope you'll wise up to this sooner than I did. One thing you have going for you is that you have at least one family member who knows this is abuse and therefore you already have someone to go to for support. Start planning your exit and once you leave DO NOT go back. It will be the hardest thing you ever do.
You are dating and dating is when you figure out if the person is the right one for you and whether you’d want a long term relationship with the person. You just found out he is not the right one. So just breakup as this is not the guy.
I think it is important to understand that you can do the best you possibly can, and still hurt your daughter deeply.
My parents loved me. I know that to the bottom of my heart. I also know that it's taken me years to even start to heal from the resentment of my father leaving us to care for my mother as she died, the state of the home we grew up in, and various other ways where they did the best they could but still fell short.
You can do the best you can, but still hurt people in ways that leave scars. And from the sounds of it, your best left your daughter deeply scarred.
Yes I’ve re-read and that’s correct. Either way she’d have known he was drunk and was cross that he refused her a ride home when presumably he was even more drunk?
These posts are always sad when it’s clear the poster has no self esteem and presumably no friends who can tell her what a dick her bf is.
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Most nurses I know are married to cops, depending on how large the hospital is people talk. If your midwife works anywhere close to the ER your husband went to it’s possible she just found out through the grapevine.
That’s his manipulative way of justifying him cheating. He is cruel and emotionally abusive. His toxic friends will encourage him on the abuse and to seek encounters. Speak with your nurse and doctor early on the help you with your delivery plan. They are willing to take the blame and come up with an excuse to have just the providers in the room with you for your safety and health.
Why are you arguing with him? He hasn't done anything wrong. Ask him to ask his parents why they are doing this, he can also explain that the children are being affected.
I wrote another comment, but I wanted to add something.
You are so concerned with how your actions may impact him, but he clearly does not care how his actions impact you. Stop placing his well-being above your own – he’s not even slightly considering you.
This is absolutely an abusive relationship. And I would bet good money that when things are “good” it's because you're tiptoeing around, avoiding conflict, and letting him get away with shit he should not because you fear speaking up.
Just because he's not abusive in all the possible ways doesn't mean he's not abusive.
Here's a thought experiment: What would be the reaction if you went to your boss and told them you need them to direct deposit your income into a new account? And it was in your name only? Would you feel safe and empowered to do that?
If not, you are being financially and emotionally abused, at minimum.
I understand that it's nude to see this. I spent ten years in a marriage refusing to believe it was abusive. I just knew that if I could use the right words, have the right attitude, etc, all would be well.
I hope you'll wise up to this sooner than I did. One thing you have going for you is that you have at least one family member who knows this is abuse and therefore you already have someone to go to for support. Start planning your exit and once you leave DO NOT go back. It will be the hardest thing you ever do.
You are dating and dating is when you figure out if the person is the right one for you and whether you’d want a long term relationship with the person. You just found out he is not the right one. So just breakup as this is not the guy.
Never thought I'd speak about a woman like this but… Dude drop that bitch!
I think it is important to understand that you can do the best you possibly can, and still hurt your daughter deeply.
My parents loved me. I know that to the bottom of my heart. I also know that it's taken me years to even start to heal from the resentment of my father leaving us to care for my mother as she died, the state of the home we grew up in, and various other ways where they did the best they could but still fell short.
You can do the best you can, but still hurt people in ways that leave scars. And from the sounds of it, your best left your daughter deeply scarred.
Yes I’ve re-read and that’s correct. Either way she’d have known he was drunk and was cross that he refused her a ride home when presumably he was even more drunk?
These posts are always sad when it’s clear the poster has no self esteem and presumably no friends who can tell her what a dick her bf is.
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Most nurses I know are married to cops, depending on how large the hospital is people talk. If your midwife works anywhere close to the ER your husband went to it’s possible she just found out through the grapevine.
That’s his manipulative way of justifying him cheating. He is cruel and emotionally abusive. His toxic friends will encourage him on the abuse and to seek encounters. Speak with your nurse and doctor early on the help you with your delivery plan. They are willing to take the blame and come up with an excuse to have just the providers in the room with you for your safety and health.
Why are you arguing with him? He hasn't done anything wrong. Ask him to ask his parents why they are doing this, he can also explain that the children are being affected.
I wrote another comment, but I wanted to add something.
You are so concerned with how your actions may impact him, but he clearly does not care how his actions impact you. Stop placing his well-being above your own – he’s not even slightly considering you.