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Why on earth would you want to? Why are you crying? He is a monster, a selfish prick. Where is your rage? Where is your anger at this piece of shit who clearly has lied and manipulated you into a relationship? Run.
So he is addicted to his phone, like many of us. Does he know it?
Oh man run now this is such a red flag. It may be mental health issues but unless hes willing to try fix anything it will never change
Absolutely. I think the fiancé k ew it might be a deal breaker and so didn't tell OP u till just before the wedding. Not to mention the fact that more info magical appeared after the wedding.
So sorry OP, I definitely would be able to trust her. But, your right, that she will probably resent you if you ask her to break contact. The situation sucks. One solution may be a post nup. Certain penalties in the divorce, if she is found to have been back with one of them. If she is so sure that she will never back, she shouldn't have a problem signing it. You can make it for both of you.
Good luck
I mean, I can only speak for myself, but if your partner gives you a letter, you're going to read it the first chance you get, aren't you? I know I would, as soon as I had a moment's privacy, I'm reading it!
She also knows that turning down a marriage proposal usually ends three relationship. She doesn't want to get married, but she doesn't want to break up, so is just avoiding the entire issue. OP said that it felt like the natural next move, but she may not feel the same way.
I get it. It's confusing sometimes. I don't think his wife is the problem here. He reads like a guy who needs therapy to help him understand healthy relationships. We all have something we could work on, I think
Agreed. She deserves that person and OP is actively robbing her of that chance every day he stays with her and knows she’s not permanent for him
This rant… yet you’ve dragged it on for nearly 4 years?
Good God, man! Stop wasting your time, stop wasting her time.
PhD in what? Seriously.
He actually invited me himself and paid for my ticket – what would you calm that? We also have a little past together…
Acne and violence? ???
Wait, where is there love in this? She spit on you, you faked hitting her, her daughter hates you, she hates your daughter. She then immediately filed a restraining order against you!
Divorce there is no love in this marriage, I don't see the threads your pulling with saying that. You guys don't like each other, you like the idea of not being single, probably for image reasons. But there is no love in this relationship, there is no future here. Just end the nightmare for all of your sakes.
I’m not seeing anything else that can be done here. You are no longer smoking. You’re washing your clothes and nothing is working. Sounds to me like you just have to ride out the next 4 months.
Bullshit.
Just bc she leaves her bf, doesn’t mean the kid is never goin to see his grandfather again. The bf isn’t the problem so he’s goin to get some kind of custody and therefore granddad still will get to see his grandkid and display the same behaviors.
She’s offering to pay for his lawyer
If OP doesn't have money for a lawyer the court will force the wife to pay for it anyway.
bring the kids to him 2 weeks out of every 2 months,
2 things here: First, this promise is bullshit because everyone knows once the kids are school age, it will be impossible to keep. Second, the court will never grant her to move the children out of state without OP's consent, so this isn't a offering to OP at all, it's a taking from him
not asking for child support,
Again the court is likely to award split custody, and since the Wife is the breadwinner and OP is disabled, if there is any child support or alimony payments awarded, they will go to OP.
giving him the house
This she is legitimately offering, but only because she can't take it with her out of state.
paying for his caretaker,
Again, if OP doesn't have his own money for this, the court is likely to award it to him anyway.
and also saying she won’t remarry.
This is a bullshit, unenforceable promise.
So basically the wife is offering a house she can't use for OP's kids. I don't think that is that good of an offer, especially if there's a still a substantial mortgage on it.
Being over it is plenty reason to break up. No need to worry about it any more.