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I feel like this is such a very hot button issue right now. On the one hand, yes you should only marry someone who you trust. On the other hand, look at how many people trust jerks, you hear about it all the time. It is bound to make someone double check their gut. I think that his sentiment of wasting his “prime years” is one you need to discuss, and not because of raising the wrong child. It should be discussed about him viewing time as something you can waste when you are simply just trying to live your best life. You don't get a do-over even if you make the wrong choice, yes that is true. On the other hand, the person you marry can only take so much suspicion before it starts to feel like they are wasting their OWN life only to be questioned all the time.
I sincerely think this is something that would be best discussed with a therapist trained to work with couples. BF has issues, but frankly if it is this alone it really isn't one to throw the whole boyfriend away over, unless he is unwilling to discuss it and work out a reasonable compromise between the both of you. That would be a second largish issue to work out. It is a lot of ado over potentially nothing, because there would probably be a completely different set of issues to argue about by the time you are wanting to have children. But then again, that would be a long time to go while feeling mistrusted by the one person that should have your back while you believe you are trusted to have theirs.
Really. Find someone. Talk it out.
That's true, everybody is different. And again, this is why I have this convo early on. In this case if it were you and I discussing this, it seems like a pretty big incompatibility to me, we would probably part ways romantically. and I truly mean no disrespect.
First off how long have you been dating?
Second, how often do you give her excuses as to why she can't come over?
Totally makes sense…so look live! and read some info, it is gonna be apparent why he does what he does. Have him go get those crabs looked at or you may catch them. out of curiosity what country are you from? really helps with the advice knowing the cultural differences.
Fathers get postpartum too. You might look into that. It’s more productive than assuming he’s an a-hole.
Stop holding on. All you do is waiting for disappointment. Just let your ex be your ex and let time take away any and all feelings you still have for her.
You've been married for 3 months and are getting a divorce? Why not an annulment?
I was just like your husband. I overcommitted outside my marriage and ultimately my marriage ended. I still hasn't learned my lesson. It is a hot thing to do, to draw boundaries with family and other close people, when you haven't had to before. The issue lies with interesting and setting clear priorities.
By marrying you, he has said you are his priority. I'm an atheist, but I wasn't then, and I remember clearly a Bible verse being read at the wedding, Genesis 2:24: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” The point being, you are the priority. With a kid, all the more so.
Where that rubbed me the wrong way was my wife trying to weaponize that to an extent to prevent me from spending time with my dad. Beyond that though, I absolutely was at fault for overcommitting in other areas, volunteering and helping out a friend's family.
Your husband wanting to be helpful is not bad, but he shouldn't unilaterally make giant decisions like this without you.
This