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Thank you for the reply.
The issue seems to be stemming from the fact that we have been in the same friends group years. Way before we started dating and ended up in a committed relationship.
So he knows who I've been with and their “reputation” and he's heard me talk about sex and sex preferences in the past.
I just don't understand why it's coming up now after a year? Why not at the beginning?
Normal behavior to post selfies? Of course.
But I’m so mature for my age! He never treats me bad except for… this and this and this. He only beats me when I deserve it and forced me to get an abortion. He’s only 65 and I turned 18 last week. We are so in love!
She isn't who you thought she was. You think there is a shield of anxiety to get to the core where she is the person you saw in texts. But who you saw is a reflection of who you wanted her to be. She is showing you that she is a very shy person. She won't ever be the kind of girl you like. Stop expecting her to change
So, knowing she wanted and values marriage, you got your partner pregnant despite having no desire for marriage yourself? After 3.5 years?
Poor girl.
Why are you making this wedding about you?
He seems to not have a problem with it. They previously had an open marriage which was later closed. I know no more details than that.
When I raise it with him he says that I need to trust him and that it is purely platonic. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall and cannot get him to see my point of view
Esta contigo por una razĂłn, si no te quisiera no lo estarĂa. Tu mismo dices que te da igual como sea fĂsicamente, ella pensará lo mismo que tĂş, cuando te gusta mucho una persona dejas de valorar tanto el fĂsico a nivel de atractivos convencionales y ves más allá de eso. Dices que ella tiene tambiĂ©n traumas suyos, es posible que te vea como lo mejor que le haya pasado en la vida, es difĂcil que un fĂsico atractivo compita con eso.
Además, no a todo el mundo le gusta el mismo tipo de cuerpo, no siempre el canon de belleza genérico es el que más atrae a todo el mundo, igual a ella le atraes tú más que todo el mundo que dices que es mucho más atractivo.
Por último, busca un psicólogo, por lo que comentas no tienes demasiados problemas de dinero y hay pocas cosas en las que merezca más la pena gastar el dinero que en la salud mental.
Staying friends would cause you pain. I wouldn’t stay in a situation like that.
Not worth it.
If he’s addicted then “I’ve deleted the app” lasts as long as the next time he gets the urge then he will just reinstall it.
I wouldn’t bother. If this is your boundary and you’re having these problems after only 7 short months, this will be your life for as long as you stay.
He won’t stop until he wants to and saying he “wants” to seek therapy is absolutely meaningless without the actions to back it up.
At this point he’s mouthing platitudes. Saying what he thinks you want to hear to maintain the status quo. Words are cheap.
Just dump him and move on.
Yeah I understand your point of view better now. But I just don't like accusing people of doing negative things when, with the info given, the probability of them being the worst is very unlikely. Nowhere is said that he doesn't allow her going, it just says boundary and I assume that in their conversation it was probably said as it being a boundary.
She doesn't seem to view it as a logical boundary so they're obviously incompatible. But I don't think he's being controlling.
Gas is also expensive. OP mentioned money is tight.
I feel like “your mom used to be my hairdresser” isn’t actually a very crazy secret. Just tell him, what kind of reaction are you actually worried about?
Get her a blanket and let her sleep bro
Tell him the devil has more than enough advocates without him.
Then make him watch Bambi so he understands the Thumper rule.
Then, think about upgrading the boyfriend. You did it with your job and your credit – those are much harder than finding someone who cares enough to take genuine pleasure in your successes.