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I think you should leave him but not necessarily because of what he said. He expressed that he doesn't want a kid and that's okay, he probably could have had more tact but at least he was honest. However, I think you should leave him because you're clearly already considering it. This has clearly hurt and shocked you and it's not nice that he essentially left you to deal with all of the stress on your own. Be with someone who makes you feel secure.
You don’t need to understand; you just need to respect her. She’s had this dream and this plan for longer than she knew you existed. It’s not right to muscle into her solo plans.
You’ve only been together a year, that’s still in the honeymoon period where you can’t imagine anything going wrong – but then factor in the stress of international travel and squeezing in as much experiences as you can into the single month you can accompany her and it becomes less trip of a lifetime and more ‘trip of a lifetime ruined by my insecure boyfriend’. You will wreck your relationship, her experiences and memories will be clouded by your presence, just don’t do it. Even after you’ve gone back home I can see you being clingy and wanting lots of phone contact. She’s hardly going to experience anything!
Wish her well and meet up with her when she gets back.
I understand your perspective.
Jessica likely felt that you didn't understand Ryan and therefore could not be supportive of her relationship. People can act funny when their friends don't react the way they want them to.
I really think that she doesn't want to overtly cause a problem, yet doesn't want to be as close as you once were. I'm sorry that happened. I'm also sorry you went through what seems like a exhausting divorce.
If she wasn't supportive of what you were going through (regardless of Ryan's own situation), then maybe it wouldn't be such a terrible thing to let this friendship continue to die out.
Either way, if she isn't willing to communicate, there isn't much you can do. In my opinion, if someone cares about you, they should want to discuss relevant issues about your friendship, even if it's difficult.
You can try to talk to her once, and if she doesn't make an effort to save your friendship, then you know it's over. I'm sorry because I know how much it hurts.
I should maybe mention that I've been working on myself too. I'm going to therapy and it has been really good for me.
Oh wait, you have flaws too? It's not just the uncaring baboon? I wonder if any of those flaws are bothering your husband (or does that not matter?)
That's why I've asked here – which is also why I value your opinion.
Why do you value strangers' opinions?
The first go to here is counselling, thesecond is attempting to ruin the relationship by telling you who he is deep down (bad) and the third is telling you to get divorced.
1.2.3 – clockwork.
But have you actually tried to talk to him about it?
Do you know what will happen in counselling?
They are not going to sit your husband down and say “stop doing this, you are hurting the woman!”
all you need to do is tell your husband exactly what you told us because that will be the very first thing a therapist requests that you do.,
Real life isn't like reddit, there are two people in a relationship not just a woman and a guy that needs fixing.
for fucks sake is everyone a child in this sub?
Why would someone date you when they can screw you and leave? This isn't a relationship it's a situationship.
If you want a relationship move on and learn from your mistakes. You are worth more than that.
It sounds like YOU might be the other guy who’s in the off phases of their on and off relationship.