He needs to be careful. Child support is separate from just buying groceries or diapers for the baby. If he and his child's mother do not have a formal Court Order, she can likely pursue back Child Support down the road and his being a provider will not likely be a defense.
Before you continue discussing college, you may want to consult with a family law attorney and figure out a way to get a formal Parenting Plan in place so that there's clear cut rules on custody, decision-making authority, visitation and child support.
It would be awful if he got out of college with student loan debt and suddenly found himself owing tens of thousands of dollars in back child support too.
Itās been 4 months, and heās still stating he doesnāt want a relationship.
While you donāt seem crazy to think there might be feelings, heās being explicit with you that there is no further relationship beyond friends or FWB. Believe him, donāt romanticize it. Maybe heās the type of person that can recognize feelings for you, but understand in the logical part of his brain that it either wonāt work out in the longterm (which might be what heās looking for in a partner if any) or heās just not available to support a commitment at this time.
The right course of action would be to talk to him, like any friend. If youāre catching feels and itās not in the cards for him, then pull back on any and all sexual ties to him and explain why. This will be easier to reframe your friendship around the other types of support you can lend eachother, and leave little room for doubts of āmaybe Iām a bad friendā or āmaybe Iām too XYZā. Communication in ANY relation , platonic or otherwise, is key.
If heās fresh out of a painful previous relationship, he still has work to do to heal, or improve and grow, or both. He deserves that space too, without being poked and prodded of when heāll be ready.
I wish you the best and hope of you want a friendship out of this, that you can get it without pain to the heart.
You don't know the situation regarding the first proposal and should reserve judgment.
Speaking as someone whose “proposal” was essentially just “do you want it now” and getting tossed the ring box while chopping onions for dinner…I think it's an amazing gesture and shows how much he cares about his partner to listen to her feelings and follow through with improving the situation.
Itās pathetic but I donāt want to fight with him. Iām the time since Iāve set my own boundaries, Iāve seen how petty this grown ass man is. And I know how vindictive he can get. But youāre right, I do have text proof of him using sexual coercion to threatening my job. š
You decide what you want. Do you want your ex? If so, stop fucking with all the meaningless women (if youāre in a relationship why would you even bother??) and focus on the one you actually want. Step up.
Iāll be honest once trust is gone itās very hot to come by again. Itās possible sheāll never be able to trust you again.
But you have to figure out what you want and stop the roller coaster. Relationship? Cool you know what you need to do. Break up? No contact. For any reason. Stop talking to her. Neither of you will ever move on stringing along the other person.
And while weāre on the subject of stringing along. Get your ass off dating sites. You are nowhere near in any position to be subjecting another person to this.
Lol why do you ask for peopleās opinion and then get aggressive and defensive because you donāt like it? Youāre just confirming what I said before, I hope that you consider therapy, good luck.
Thank you so much for your advice! And also, Iām more kinky than just spanking and chocking lol
He needs to be careful. Child support is separate from just buying groceries or diapers for the baby. If he and his child's mother do not have a formal Court Order, she can likely pursue back Child Support down the road and his being a provider will not likely be a defense.
Before you continue discussing college, you may want to consult with a family law attorney and figure out a way to get a formal Parenting Plan in place so that there's clear cut rules on custody, decision-making authority, visitation and child support.
It would be awful if he got out of college with student loan debt and suddenly found himself owing tens of thousands of dollars in back child support too.
Itās been 4 months, and heās still stating he doesnāt want a relationship.
While you donāt seem crazy to think there might be feelings, heās being explicit with you that there is no further relationship beyond friends or FWB. Believe him, donāt romanticize it. Maybe heās the type of person that can recognize feelings for you, but understand in the logical part of his brain that it either wonāt work out in the longterm (which might be what heās looking for in a partner if any) or heās just not available to support a commitment at this time.
The right course of action would be to talk to him, like any friend. If youāre catching feels and itās not in the cards for him, then pull back on any and all sexual ties to him and explain why. This will be easier to reframe your friendship around the other types of support you can lend eachother, and leave little room for doubts of āmaybe Iām a bad friendā or āmaybe Iām too XYZā. Communication in ANY relation , platonic or otherwise, is key.
If heās fresh out of a painful previous relationship, he still has work to do to heal, or improve and grow, or both. He deserves that space too, without being poked and prodded of when heāll be ready.
I wish you the best and hope of you want a friendship out of this, that you can get it without pain to the heart.
Your wife needs to grow up.
You don't know the situation regarding the first proposal and should reserve judgment.
Speaking as someone whose “proposal” was essentially just “do you want it now” and getting tossed the ring box while chopping onions for dinner…I think it's an amazing gesture and shows how much he cares about his partner to listen to her feelings and follow through with improving the situation.
Itās pathetic but I donāt want to fight with him. Iām the time since Iāve set my own boundaries, Iāve seen how petty this grown ass man is. And I know how vindictive he can get. But youāre right, I do have text proof of him using sexual coercion to threatening my job. š
You decide what you want. Do you want your ex? If so, stop fucking with all the meaningless women (if youāre in a relationship why would you even bother??) and focus on the one you actually want. Step up.
Iāll be honest once trust is gone itās very hot to come by again. Itās possible sheāll never be able to trust you again.
But you have to figure out what you want and stop the roller coaster. Relationship? Cool you know what you need to do. Break up? No contact. For any reason. Stop talking to her. Neither of you will ever move on stringing along the other person.
And while weāre on the subject of stringing along. Get your ass off dating sites. You are nowhere near in any position to be subjecting another person to this.
Lol why do you ask for peopleās opinion and then get aggressive and defensive because you donāt like it? Youāre just confirming what I said before, I hope that you consider therapy, good luck.