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Things didn't fail because you had a “double life”?” They failed because you're fundamentally incompatible. What you did was shitty and I'm not going to suggest it had absolutely no impact in getting you here, but you logically were always going to get here. As for “perfect,” you're right, you didn't say that. But it's over a decade later. Forget using the word “perfect.” If this person were so right for you, you'd be together. That's the end of it.
Define “let go?” It's a pretty crystal clear surface level statement. The issue is what follows. You let go? No, you didn't. I'm happy to hear that you have no illusions that someday you'll be together. And I'm not saying this to be mean or an asshole; I'm truly happy you're saying that.
But you're here asking how to move on. That you haven't moved on inherently means you haven't let go even if you logically know it's not happening. So in addition to therapy, what I'd advise is you remind yourself of that; they're gone. It didn't happen. It's been over a decade. You're looking back on a fantasy with rose colored glasses.