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Because wanting a “connection” is just more bullshit on top of this bullshit sandwich. He’s hoping you’ll fall for it even though he’s acting in every way that is opposite of having a connection.
From all you described seems like the problem is not you or him it's the job. Can he switch careers? If he can he will probably be much less stressed, work during day and it will improve his behavior greatly.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes. This is what happens when you take your wife for granted, someone else will appreciate her. This is 1000 percent on you. You pushed after she said no. You’re not going to get much sympathy here. You sound like a selfish child throwing a tantrum because you didn’t get your way, when in fact you did get your way – it just wasn’t how you thought it would be.
Lol, why are you letting her decide what you should and should not do with YOUR company.. Ignore her
To keep the peace….
I would apologize like this: “I’m sorry I upset you”
(This is how you have along marriage.)
Then, don’t announce it, just keep plunging.
You don't ask for a divorce, you go to a lawyer and get one started. Call a lawyer and do whatever they tell you.