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The dysfunction, and therefore behavior, varies greatly from one family to the next.
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You could always show her parts of this post, explain to her that for pretty much the first time in your life you get to be YOU. Not a mother or caretaker first, but actually living your life for you. You said it, you’re burnt out and simply cannot/will not take on the role of being a nanny.
All men are different and do different things. Why are you demanding at all men answer to what one singular man did?
He wasn’t protecting the home when he committed the crime against you last night.
I assume you raised or voice or maybe got violent ? Learn to control your temper.
I'm more surprised about how you can be so chill about being a predator.
She doesn’t care that her “jokes” hurt you. That’s bullying behavior and a red flag.
Next time she “jokes” about it, ask her when she plans on buying you a new car. Start giving her specs for the perfect car she can get for you. Say you are looking for a sugar mama that can buy you the car she thinks you deserve.