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I don't quite understand. Are you saying that you both physically attacked each other? Do you only act in self defense? Does he ever initiate physical violence?
He's mentally unstable and owns a gun. Why do you need more than that? Your judgement for what is ok or acceptable + safe is totally broken. Your life is very much in danger.
Don't send it. It's unnecessary – just let it go.
Can't cook, “has a temper,” and is 15 years your senior. If it was a fling, or a couple hookups, fine, sex is sex, do what you like, but girl, you are setting yourself up for failure. I'm nearing 31 now, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't be serious with a 20 year old. Fun– yes, all day long, for a couple days. But a serious, honest to god relationship with someone so much younger? The power dynamic is too stunted.
I will also add, him telling you that he has a temper, is just a massive neon sign saying “If you're with me, I will eventually explode and treat you like garbage”
Should I say something to my friend or persuade my boyfriend that nothing is wrong with this?
Tell your friend to stop sending you love songs. If he asks why, just be honest, what does it look like from the outside. I mean, if it were the other way around, you wouldn't be happy if a friend of your bf (woman) sending him love poems. Your bf may be all like, but she's into another guy, but think though, what's the point of sending it to your bf? Your bf is not a poetry expert, perse, just like you're not a music expert (assuming lol)
You say that your bf is annoyed at him, but not you. That's good. If I were you, I'd just tell that friend to cool it with the love songs.
You are doing everything you can. You are being very supportive. Unfortunately he needs to help himself so I hope he's still going to therapy. It's very hot on you being the rock for so long. So it's good you were going on a girl's night. Keep those going. They will keep you sane. Lol. There are support groups out there where SOs of depressed people get together and share different ideas and how to cope with a partner having depression. If you can't find one you might want to think about going to therapy as well. Getting hit with deaths like that is hot. It's understandable that he's sad. Just keep him moving forward. Try not to enable him by saying it's ok to stay in bed all day. Push him to get out of bed. Give him little chores to do. Small ones. Like make the bed. That will make him feel like he accomplished something. If he's not doing that stuff already. Just remember to keep your own mental health in mind. It's important.
Why.. why would you stay with someone like this? You read what his true feelings are. How could you ever get past those? He sounds like sort of an unstable person to me. Who does shit like that, that’s kinda crazy. :/ I’m sure you’re not the problem, it sounds like he definitely is. You need to find someone whom you can trust who actually likes you ALL the time and won’t shit talk you. If your best friend told you her bf did this to her, what would you want her to do?