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Dunno why you are trying so hot. She's an arsehole. Let her get on with her shitty life and you get on with yours.
A nothing relationship/friendship
I think your Reddit name really speaks volumes.
It's kind of messed up to expect your boyfriend to know you mean “no” when you explicitly say “yes”…
Different reason and situation (straight woman here friends with a straight man) but I just had to end a 20+ year friendship. For who knows what reason, he just stopped respecting me.
I couldn't get a thought out all the way before the criticism and mansplaining started. He's always been opinionated which I could deal with. Everyone has a “price of admission” because nobody is perfect. That was his and I have mine too of course.
Two quick examples becauseI don'twant to hijack: I restarted a fitness program. I am experienced and knowledgeable but like a lot of people got out of shape during COVID and then just got out of the routine. What did he do? Instead of being supportive and saying something like “I think it's great you want to get healthier again”, even if that would have came peppered with a little concern like “but remember to take it slow since you haven't worked out in a while” I got “YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF! THEN what are you planning to do? You'll be off work after you just moved!” Like you, it really took the wind out of my sails. I felt optimistic and motivated until he said that. I didn't give up because of it but it hurt I had to continue IN SPITE of him and not have the support of someone who was supposed to, yanno….. support me.
Speaking of the move. I ended up breaking my lease because the apartment ended up being unsuitable with MAJOR issues that surfaced and they wouldn't repair. I was doing it the proper, legal way. I got “YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR DEPOSIT! IDK WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! It was only 8 more months!” By this time, I had no hard water, a window that poured water when it rained, and a roach problem they refused to treat.
Glad you want that for me, “best friend”.
Like you, idk where this came from. It seemed out of nowhere and I too felt deceived. Like…… this guy thought I was incompetent and messing up my life for the last 20 years? Nice.
I did try to resolve it with him. I told him I was hurt and I wanted to talk it out. 3 days later he sent me some fishing pictures like nothing was wrong. I told him again we couldn't continue on until we resolved the issue.
I got months/years of resentment and how I supposedly “never even said thank you” for “everything he's done for me”. Yes he did lend me money here and there. But I always thanked him and always repaid EARLY. I hate owing people. He did help me with some things, like a pervious move and a minor surgery. But that's what friends do. And I'd done things similar for him. Including upping and leaving work in the middle of the day and staying with him for 3 days when he had a work injury. Because that's what friends do.
I guess he expected a memorial bench every time he did something nice. He'd resented me for ages, never said anything, but yet didn't want me to end the friendship either. Kept trying to act like everything was fine despite spitting all that venom at me and refusing to talk about what had upset ME. We could have talked about things that were bothering HIM too but I won't deal with DARVO. My upset was still valid even IF he had his own.
Like you I felt like our whole friendship was fake. I'm still a little angry and sad 3 months out. We were friends half our lives and it was….. all fake? I grieved it as a death. It really REALLY hurt. Still does, but less.
A long friendship is the loss of an important long term relationship. It'll hurt like any other. But everyone deserves to be treated with respect. The only thing we can do is grieve and move on eventually. Unfortunately, grief takes ITS time and not OURS.
Dude what the fuck is with this sub lately? Yes, it’s completely reasonable to be upset that your dad treats your boyfriend differently than all of your siblings partners. And apparently, for no goddamn reason. That is completely okay, and I’m so sorry people are invalidating your feelings here.
I truly don’t understand why people are acting like you’re wrong for being upset about it. Like yeah, lots of people want their parents to have a good relationship with their partners and would be upset if their parents didn’t treat them respectfully, especially when their parent(s) treat their siblings spouses better. Because, yes, actively ignoring your partner IS disrespectful, especially when your boyfriend is speaking to him.
I’m sorry I don’t have any well-thought-out advice because you’ve apparently already asked your dad why he treats your boyfriend differently and his answer isn’t really an answer, saying he’s fine yet he ignores your boyfriends existence.
So I guess just have a sit-down with your dad and explain how you’re feeling about the way he’s treating your boyfriend, and talk about how you’re able to recognize that he treats your siblings partners better than yours. It sounds like your dad really isn’t a bad person, so he should be able to listen to you and try to understand how you’re feeling.
Good luck OP. These comments are just weird and I hope you don’t take most of them to heart.
Op, I'm so sorry. I can feel your pain. How awful and disgusting is he not to mention sick, twisted and disgusting. Get 1/2 the money out of the house account. Get a lawyer to find out your option and get tested. If allowed in your country, state, province or parish, sue her for alienation of affection.
Make sure you get full custody of your kids.
The kids comment she made really bothered me.
Again, I'm sorry op.
Oh crap I posted it without finishing, my bad…
He seems like a control freak tbh which is always a bad thing
Firstly I want to say your both adults so as long as you two are happy with each other the age gap doesn’t matter. I know some people will say it’s a red flag however personally think your old enough to decide that.
Could you speak to your partner, ask him about things that are likely to be brought up (events, celebrities etc) during the night so you can look into those. I know he won’t be able to say everything that will be discussed etc but maybe a way for you to join in a conversation if you’re able to research a few things that may be brought up as he knows his friends and what’s likely to be talked about during the night?
Lol this comes down to do you count porn as a deal breaker. Some relationships are fine as long as the sex life doesn’t get affected and their are some who out right think watching porn is cheating. So it all depends on what are your boundaries and dealbreakers are.
Treating female body parts like they're a slur or a taboo word is offensive, yes. You're censoring women for existing, basically. You're not offended because you wrote it, but that doesn't mean it's not offensive. Take the feedback and move on, or continue to out yourself as someone who thinks vagina is a swear word and can't be mentioned in public, it's up to you. You fixed what you wrote so I don't really mind what you do next.
We try too, we don’t name call or yell. But we get so fixated on how we feel that I think we are blinded to how the other might in the moment.
Ask for 50/50 custody.
Don’t just sit there all night. Make some plans with some Friends and leave the house
Your answer was fine and your instinct to change the subject was also good.