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Thank you for something I definitely should’ve already realised, that’s completely true, i feel maybe I’m just scared of taking this huge life step and having a child so I’m looking for an issue, I mean, how often do you find 100% of the things you’re looking for, and I’ve been lucky enough to find 99% of it, she is a truly beautiful person, I think I need to seek some form of therapist to properly dissect the issue
What a piece of shit. Sorry, I don't really have advice to give, but I can't stand people who find amusement at the expense of others.
Well, that sucks. I hope the new one can help you.
I was in an abusive relationship. My therapist almost never told me to leave, we would talk about it and most of the time we concluded I needed to leave, but I couldn't do it. My therapist only told me to fucking leave a couple of times when my ex did something really awful.
You know, sometimes we find bad people and we know they're bad, but we can't leave because we're hooked on them, like addicts to a drug. It is probable that this relationship is giving you something you are not aware you desperately need.
What makes abusers addictive is intermittent reinforcement. I can briefly explain what it is, but it's better if you look it up yourself. It's basically giving you a reward without a clear pattern, so you're waiting for the next high. Some of them are not even aware they do this, it's their own personal mental health issue.
These people hide their toxic behaviour really well at first, they probably love bomb the shit out of you, they make you feel on cloud nine. Then the first red flags start to show, but you wait for the next high and at some point, they will deliver. They will apologize, they tell you you're so good and that they don't even deserve you. It's ok, everyone makes mistakes, right?
Then the toxic traits show up more often, they get worse. That's when the promises begin. They'll never fulfill them, maybe it seems like they're getting better at first, but it will hit back, with more force than before, because the promise goes completely against them.
Some people have said it already, but you are in love with an idea of him, something you made up in your head from the first weeks or even months of the relationship.
I'm guessing here, but is this your first love? I think it's a popular saying somewhere, it goes “the first love is the one you love the most, but also the one you love the worst”, you love without control, without boundaries, it's intense, inexperienced and it often doesn't end well. But after the first love, you'll learn to love and how you like to be loved.
I won't lie to you, breaking up with this guy will hurt like fucking hell. But you need to take that step to be able to heal and love again.
Many people tried to help me when I was in that relationship and I know most of them were right, but I still didn't listen. Humans need to make the mistake themselves to learn. I just hope this person doesn't hurt you too much before you realize by yourself that you need to leave.
You deserve respect. This guy isn't going to give you that, so better start respecting yourself.
It kind of seems like there is a fair amount of self-hatred tied up in there if you love the person who is treating you so poorly. If this was happening to your best friend, wouldn't you tell her/your bf that no one is allowed to treat her that poorly? No one should be allowed to treat you that poorly. Maybe you're worried that no one will love you more than the fact that you won't love someone as much. This isn't love. This is abuse.
I didn’t think at the time about how my boyfriend would feel but I won’t let myself slip up again.