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So your brother is dating someone who is judgemental, exclusive, and rude to people that people close to her care about and that is okay, but it’s not okay for your girlfriend to have a different personality?
It’s fine not to like someone, it’s not fine to treat someone poorly just because you don’t like their personality. It’s also just fine to call people out on treating other people poorly.
Why aren’t you pulling your twin aside and let him know that his girlfriend is being a bully and it’s affecting your living space?
It seems like you are almost blaming your gf for poor living environment when in fact she is the victim of the environment that your brother and gf are creating.
You need to address the problem instead of blame the victim.
And we have not lived together before
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I highly doubt we are being told all the details. Something just feels off about this post.
For what it's worth I started dating my wife when she was 21 and I was 28. That was 9 years ago. We've been married almost three years now. It takes the right mix of people and I think we're right on the cusp of what could be considered reasonable for most people. But we continue to be a good match. Also, if you're mom is a rational person then she might be onto something. Lot of variables at play.
Name 3 ways your life is better with him in it than it would be without him
thank u to everyone who commented and shared their insight! im pretty fed up at this point so i’m taking multiple people’s advice and im going to stop planning things altogether. we have a festival coming up and other events so i’ll see how he handles when he figures out im passing up the baton.