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He broke up with you and you keep reaching out to him. He is being kind. Don’t contact him if you don’t want him to reply.
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He says I have “two modes – cute and hot” and that most of the time I’m cute so he just wants to cuddle and not have sex. And because we online together he just doesn’t want to have sex as much and his sex drive has gone down.
What the hell does “it's him OP doesn't trust” have to do with anything? Unless OP is concerned that her teammate is going to sexually assault her and completely failed to mention it, then the issue is he doesn't trust his partner.
Wait, so you still want to build a house and have another baby with someone who lies, manipulates and has overall zero respect for you? Who doesn't even conceal anymore that she is lying and just changes her stories whenever she wants to because she cares so little?
Honestly, if that's what you want from life, then build that house, have that kid and why not finish everything off with a marriage while you're at it?
There are always two people involved in something like this scenario: One who does all the bullcrap and one who lets it happen. But your life, your choice.
People who are active abusers often do a very good job of fooling therapists. It simply isn’t realistic or reasonable for her to ask you to attend therapy as some kind of screening tool, like it’s a blood test you can take or something, and it isn’t a good use of a medical resource. If she really has some concerns then perhaps a couple sessions of couples therapy would be appropriate, but I also think it’s ok to just opt out of this relationship all together. She sounds out of touch with reality and you shouldn’t have to make up for something you didn’t do.
You told your partner that you weren’t physically attracted to him? And he didn’t break up with you? Jesus Christ. I’d be fucking devastated if my partner said something like that to me. Your lack of concern for his feelings in this is telling. Your entire post is about you and your feelings. If you think you didn’t hurt him with your comment, you are woefully naive.
He went to the dr to get help for his premature ejaculation, so he’s clearly invested to some extent in your having a good sex life. You told him you don’t find him attractive and haven’t been able to “bring yourself” to have sex with him since. Which, fine. He’s not entitled to sex. But it’s a miracle he’d want to have sex with you after what you said.
Sex is as much about bonding as a couple as it is about “getting off.” Even when I feel and look like garbage, sex is a way to feel close to my partner. Old people aren’t rockin’ nude bods and they still have sex.
Physical attraction does matter. I’m not going to tell you it doesn’t. But you were fine with his looks until something changed and you became hyper-critical. Maybe figure out why your feelings changed so drastically so quickly. And fucking apologize for telling him that, Jesus.
Well, OP is also a child, and this is why children should not get married.
I don't think enough is said about the screenshots of a conversation to prove a point. It could come off as prudish but fuck that. My group of mates, yeah old stories of exes and one night stands go into detail but those of us who are committed the depth never really goes past “the sex is good”. Imo the way it should be.
Just, because you don't mind being an afterthought in relation it doesn't mean it is normal.
It reminds when someone in poly relationship was calling me names for advicising someone to break up with partner that has one sidedly declared open relationship. His perception of what is “normal” , was from normal “normal”. I feel the same is the case for you in this situation.
“Hey honey, will you pay for me to get run through by a bunch of Euro fuckboys while I see if I can find a better life to settle down with? Don’t worry though, there’s a chance I won’t find better and come home!!” -OP’s wife.
You are heartbroken because your relationship is completely dead now. There is zero chance it can recover. You should seek out a divorce lawyer and speak with them about your situation. I am sorry, but you staying there will cause you nothing but grief.
or if you're in public and some dude is in his apartment jacking it to you. it's still fucking weird and major icky
Lol. Good thing for your boyfriend that ya’ll didn’t get married. You’d have become a Dependathotamus cleaning out his accounts.
there actually is a law if she petitioned him to take a paternity test they can order such and then they can order child support, etc. doesn't sound like raising the kid was the issue, just the kid existing as his
also, it's not the child's fault and the kid deserves to know who his father is. growing up fatherless causes so many issues. just hanging up on her and ignoring HIS kid would be incredibly unethical and it sounds like OP is a better person than you
Severe lack of communication like this is a recipe for relationship disaster. Avoid marriage until communication improves. If it doesn’t improve with effort, it’s not meant to be.
just keep it at, “im not in a place to be dating right now”.
this one. then tell your other friend that you broke up with her as you understand you're not in a place to be dating and would appreciate if she didn't tell her exactly what went down, to spare her feelings,