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Reach out and give him a choice.
Tell him you decided to end it because you receive a letter from his mom. If he would like the letter you are happy to send it to him. Let him know you’re not looking to get back together but wanted him to know how his future relationships may be impacted.
Having another baby is more important to her than you OP, if you dont want anymore kids she might actually leave. You been in a relationship with this girl for 8 years you should've known she would want more kids. If you love your girlfriend you would do anything to make her happy. Plus i think you would make your daughter happy too i mean she would have someone to play with I think that would make any toddler happy.
This is tough and I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling and all that goes along with that. It’s easy to crucify him for saying those things and being so disrespectful etc but I would ask you to take a bird’s eye view of things. Cuz like it or not, it’s just human nature to blow up and focus on only the negatives when someone wrongs us and we overlook all the good stuff. We’re so quick to judge and cut ties because we’re hurt and remember that whatever you focus on will become bigger to you.
If your love for him is still there, and I’m sure it is otherwise you wouldn’t be asking for advice, consider giving him the benefit of the doubt… a little breathing room for grace. No one is perfect, no matter how long you’ve known each other or have been together.
It’s an ongoing journey of discovery. You guys are still learning about each other. And if you’ve only seen the good a few minor bumps in the road here and there and haven’t gotten to see the ugliness yet, then welcome to the glimpse of reality. It’s naked to embrace or accept, but we are creatures of habit. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to justify what was said and done has any justification, because it doesn’t. But neither does separation; and I get it. Easier said than done.
I would recommend you guys seek marriage counseling to help mend and heal what broke and fight for your marriage, you both deserve it. Focus on all the good and do not highlight all the bad, yes make note of it and write it down and put it to the side, but first, make a list of all the reasons you love him. All those things about him that you love, and then make a Ben Franklin “T” and list pro’s and con’s.
This is what I mean about taking a bird’s eye view.
I hope and pray you guys make it work and find healing through forgiveness… gbu.
I mean….they can invite who they want to their wedding, you can invite who you want to your party. That’s all there is to it.
Totally agree. Thank you.
Haven’t figured out yet what to do with group dinners at a restaurant though. Do I go alone and feel awkward and irritated and alone or do I take him (technically “allowed” but then everyone feels awkward and irritated?
Grow some empathy. Listen to the story of the life she had vs the life he is giving to the newer kids. This is obviously more an issue to address on THOSE lines. Chill out with acting like I'm encouraging entitlement (as she CLEARLY wasn't raised “entitled”).
Of course people take kids to Disney. But when pressed to choose to assist another family member in need… Does YOUR “NEED” to go to Disney THAT EXACT moment take priority?!? Delaying a few months isn't an option? Your priorities are fucked if you feel Disney is THAT important.
And this is less about the bus (or how 1 job turns into a whole day because of the extra multiple hours on said bus… Not that you care what troubles your kid goes thru so long as your wasting money at Disneyland on a 4yr old, right?)
I can't wait to see how you deal with the economy that your future 25yr old has to deal with… It's only getting worse each decade… Guess that's why you're putting on the huge “kick em to the curb” boots on, eh? Fuck family! They are dead to me after 18!!!
Yeah, I agree. I guess I just don’t even know what the conversation should go like. She knows how I feel about her and I know how she feels about me, not sure how I would even ask her without saying or repeating what I feel for her and have already told her.
Yeah that question indicates to me this is fake. Like, no one is this stupid. He keeps asking the same questions over and over again and is acting increasingly confused and inept.
This is coercion. He really can't consent freely because he is being emotionally manipulated. Neither can you. The only person freely consenting to a threesome is her. That's 1/3, or 33.3…%. Anything less than 100% on consent is a failing grade. So the answer is no. Don't do it.
Spot on! My friends would have been happy for me and the birthday thing would have been no big deal. OP needs better friends.
He is literally a nice guy TM.
'I bought her food, why isn't she giving me a BJ in return???'
Gross.