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In my post I do say this but I’ll say it again. I’m not bothered by his age, just the fact that he lied to me and did it easily. I’m just looking for help on how to bring it up with him.
Wild guess: does the other girl live in Utah?
Why does it matter so much to him to keep doing it? Are these real people he knows? Are they random woman and his like gets thrown into an abyss of likes never to be seen again? The former is worse but they’re both bad. What compels him to continue, what does he get out of it? You can think someone is attractive without throwing your two cents in(in this case liking their pictures). I’ve been in my relationship for 7 years and if this had come to light a year in and it didn’t stop after saying something I’d be done. It’s okay if this is a dealbreaker for you. I almost left my boyfriend a year ago because he commented on a gif that was this woman showing off her vagina and he said, “#1 reason I want to move to Canada”. We have two small children and a low income so that shit is far off from ever happening. I don’t go through his phone often, my phone had died and he gave me his phone I was looking through his Reddit cause sometimes he comments funny things on here and we have similar humors. He wasn’t even responding to the actual person some dude probably reposted that gif but gosh dang it hit me very hot. Things smoothed over after some time but I think about it more than I should, because it should have never been typed. It’s naked to say whether you should look through your partners phone because how are you suppose to know when fucked up shit is happening? We probably need therapy or to not be together but easier said than done. Find someone who doesn’t make you worry about those things. It’s not cheating but it’s disrespectful as fuck. You can watch porn or get off to a picture or whatever and not say anything and it’s fine. What compels people to take it a step further idk. I think instagram is ducked up because it’s real people, it’s like shopping around.
It can be hot for parents when their children go through a break-up. You guys dated for 3 years and during that time you got to know her parents and they got to know you. That time spent together doesn't just dissappear after a break-up and I think it speaks to your character that your ex's father wants to still be friendly.
If I were to guess why now, just after the break-up he was probably completely focused on making sure his daughter was OK and then for a time afterwards didn't want to open up any old wounds with her or you or hurt anyone. Now it's been a while and he thinks he can be friendly without hurting anyone.
Fuck him, fuck them, and fuck the fact that they thought you would shut up and swallow the pill. Now they're mad because they realize that you have standards they don't match.
And if he is blaming now for his own behaviour and friends, you can be sure he'll blame again in the future. He and his friends just showed you Who they are. No reason not to believe them.
Another possibility of why (totally assuming here) that I can think of is Amy has a dealbreaker: She doesn't want to marry a man who has another child with another woman or be a stepmother.
Perhaps she's not willing to deal with baby mama drama. Things that can happen when you marry/decide to be serious with a single parent. Sure, I can't quite grasp her true feeling, but I also understand “dealbreaker”–maybe this is hers. She's offering to be as fair as possible because she realized that you did have this kid before you guys get together and get married.
It seems to me that she's fine being your personal caretaker, being an adoptive mother, but as long as it's on “her term,” as in, she knows the adopted children are “hers” per se, and she “chose” to be their adoptive mother. She doesn't choose to be a stepmother, and she doesn't want to be a stepmother so she'd rather get a divorce.
My advice is to keep going to counseling. To get a lawyer and hammer out that custody arrangement before she left the state.
There's people who do drugs and people who don't mixed into society. There's people who brag about it and people who don't; they live! their lives, go to work, and have a fat joint when they get home to relax. Considering you're mentioning cities, as someone who grew up in the/a city it's not surprising to me at all that you more often than not bump into people who do drugs, especially as you're in your 20s. It's the “best” time for people to experiment, experience things, and “find themselves”.
The solution? If you can't handle being around people who take drugs, start by hanging around people who don't do drugs. Being around people who do drugs at all like your housemate doing drugs immediately puts you in the orbit of other people who do drugs and makes it more likely for you to cross paths.
Also, it's a misconception that people who have experimented with drugs are automatically bad people. I primarily am a weed smoker for pain relief and anxiety, but I'm 30 now and I will admit that in my 20s I experimented with a wider range of things because it was around. I don't regret it, it was an experience, and I no longer do or want to do half the things I did back then.
However, it's also a fact that some people are incapable of saying no and become highly attached to the high. Coke has one of the worst reputations because it's so easy to get hooked, and it's expensive. It's a very “more, more, more” drug because it doesn't actually make you feel anything special, it's just a drug that keeps you going all night and able to make it to work the next day if you need to because the day after hangover isn't as dire or mind-altering as other things.
The only thing you can do is seek other like minded people, but I also think the worst thing you can do is get hung up on someone's history or what they did before you if it involved experimentation or not because these days you'll be very hot pressed to find someone in a major/decently sized city who hasn't tried ANYTHING ever.
If you're intimidated by the fact that there are people willing to engage in what you see as weird or depraved sex acts (the coke off the boobs) and it plays on your mind whenever you meet a new girl if she might've done the same before then might I say you might not be cut out for dating in a city because those kinds of hang ups will definitely manifest into insecurity and (un)warranted suspicion.
Tell your family, his family, and his employer. Blow his sh*t up. He's blaming you for him cheating??? What a clueless asshole! He had been quoting from the cheater's handbook. Rewrite history, and blame the victim. Wow. Just wow. I'm so sorry that your husband couldn't remain faithful. He's weak, and pathetic. At least your baby will have 1 good parent. ❤
I doubt he will think that. You need to protect your sanity, need to get away from dad to do that, let him know.
Maybe not dump on him at one shot, but transparency is important in a relationship
Stop reposting
Well it’s definitely not nearly as much as a big boy apartment so I cant imagine why he would go broke every week.
is he selling weed
sometimes they don’t really need a good reason, unfortunately. even though it’s unethical.