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I had a similar situation where a friend who I considered my best friend had a baby and I wasn't picked as a godparent. The people they did pick I didn't think they were close to – one was here on a student visa and had gone home to her country and to my knowledge has never met the child in person. It massively affected my friendship with her – clearly she was closer with these people than she was with me, she was my best friend but I wasn't hers etc. I feel like if she valued my friendship she would have mentioned it to me ahead of time – she obviously had her reasons but if she at least communicated them to me I would at least have a chance to understand.
I feel so bad for your bf, I also have BPD, but is not an excuse to hit, abuse or manipulate anyone, you wanted to hit him, but instead decided to play the silence game, IS NOT A GAME, is called stonewalling and it’s another form of abuse
You don’t need to fix you bf’s mental health, you need to fix your attachment and your response to your triggers. And the fact that you let your mother berate him verbally when you almost drove him to su*cide is incredibly selfish.
All this post shows you have not changed, you have just adopted a new way of abusing him, and I truly think he admitted about his intentions of cheating so you would break up with him or at least realize how horrible you treat him
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I'm really confused by you saying this as you “looking back”. It happened, you made your decision at that time, and that decision was to hem and haw over divorcing your abusive wife. How DID you get past that? What makes NOW different when looking back? Why didn't it happen immediately?
You did make a choice that night and every single day since then, and that choice was not your daughter.
I sincerely hope that you have put your daughter in therapy. What happened to her that night was astronomically traumatic. She woke up to screaming, blood, knives, threat of death and harm. And you allowed that person to stay under the same roof as her. I can't imagine how terrified she must be.
Right and you just know there is so much more! I’m assuming it’s 18 years of bs just piled up and then not doing the bare minimum to keep things away from toddlers? Fil better just pack and go. The thing that sucks is it’s really her husband that should be telling his dad this. Idk, whit like this makes me extra sad. 18 years? Shit he’s been with her longer than his parents lmao
He’ll end up passing you around his friends like a party favour.
Hon, between the age gap and him pushing you to do things you don’t want to do you need to wake up and realise this guy is bad news.
You sound like you love the idea of being married more than you actually are in love. Only being together for a little over a year and already freaking out about marriage is wild. Also putting a deadline on a proposal instead of just going with the flow, seriously? What does marriage change? It’s a legal document and a party. Once you’re married and that rush is gone, what are you going to push for next? You’re so focused on what can come next, you’re going to ruin what you presently have because you’re not appreciating or savoring it. Then you’ll have no more big steps to take and you’ll say the thrill of your marriage is gone. I’m glad your partner is putting his foot down a lot this and not letting you bully him into it. I guess you just need to really check in with yourself and make sure you’re in this relationship for the right reasons. And do you really want to brag about being engaged when you had to give your SO a deadline? Ew. You’re envious because you’re putting far too much weight on the act of getting married instead of enjoying being in a loving relationship.
Well you sure as hell weren't using enough contraceptive to NOT get pregnant so you weren't trying to prevent it, either.
Please do not change who you are for this guy!!! Trust me, a lot of people LOVE a loud, outgoing, friendly and confident person. Please don’t let him make you think you need to be quieter or more “feminine”. This may just be a mismatch of personalities and that’s okay. Trust me you will find someone else who is obsessed with you and your personality just how it is!
This is absolutely a deal breaker. However since you love her so much maybe investigate other sexist views she may have such as “men need to be providers” or “men can't be raped” and see if her sexism goes much further than this. If it does, run. If it doesn't tell her she needs to deconstruct her harmful views on gender roles and that you won't allow yourself to be treated like this.
That’s what I believe when it comes to relationships . But after dating , there’s people I met that like to keep their relationships separate from each other. For me I’m trying to open my mind up since people value/love differently. You don’t believe that separate lifestyles/entities work out?
I am seeking help because I feel confused. I don't feel love for Alice, but I feel sexual attraction, I don't want to feel like this
What emotionally unstable person. Given her communication issues long distancs relationship with her would be a spectacular failure.
Pursue this new person.