My (32m) Brother (38m) Found Out That His Son (4m) Isn’t His And My Relationship With My Brother Is Destroyed Forever
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I (32m) am one of five kids, the third boy and youngest child. My oldest brother is “Joe” (38m) and my second oldest brother “Jet” passed away a few years ago. Joe has spent the past two years being a widower and my second oldest. His wife, SIL, passed away due to an illness and it was devastating for the family as she and Joe had been dating since they were teens and our families were pretty close. Years ago when I was around 12 I had an obvious crush on SIL and even told Joe that I was gonna “steal” her away one day, but no one ever really paid it any mind because I was a kid. I carried a torch for SIL for like a year and then I started crushing on someone else. It used to be a joke in the family because of how ridiculous it was and I can honestly say that I never thought about SIL in that way ever again.
Fast forward to SIL's final days, after the doctors have told her and Jack that there was nothing else science could do for her and SIL had a “come to Jesus” moment and confessed to cheating on Joe around the time she got pregnant with my nephew “Junior” (5m). This confession was made privately so a lot of didn't hear what was actually said but my guess is that in the moment Joe said he forgave her and/or it didn't matter and then she passed.
Fast forward a few weeks after the funeral and I start to notice Jack being cold and passive aggressive towards me and only me. I had no idea why and when I would try to ask him about it would either brush it off and just shut down. My girlfriend “Ashley” (29f) said that it could just be the grief talking and to just give Joe some space so I did.
Then at a family BBQ at my parents house Joe blew up at me and told everyone what SIL had confessed. Everyone was shocked and upset by the news because Joe and SIL had been together since they were teens and our families were good friends with each other. Joe also said that SIL admitted that it was with his brother and accused me. I was shocked by the news and denied it. Joe didn't believe me citing the crush I used to have on SIL as evidence. I was completely offended and tried to point out the ridiculousness of the idea before walking out.
The next day I got a call from my sister “Jane” (36f) who said that she was scheduling a paternity test for me and Junior so we could get this resolved. Again, I was offended and refused to do the test because 1) I didn't like what this implied and 2) even if the test proved that I wasn't the father it didn't mean that Joe wouldn't stop suspecting me. Joe tested himself and after he was proven not to be the father things started getting worse. Joe started telling extended family and I was being pressured to do the test and people started thinking less of me because “if you've got nothing to hide this shouldn't matter.”
After Joe started harassing Ashley and wrecked my car I caved and did the test. Surprise, surprise. I'm not the dad and just like I suspected Joe still wasn't convinced that I never touched SIL and wanted take another test. My mom some found some hair in an old hat of Jet's and used that to prove he was the dad instead of me. Since then people have coming to apologize and when Joe tried to reach out to me I told him to go f himself and that he was just as dead as Jet to me. My family is trying to get me to forgive Joe given the circumstances but I think I've done enough by eating the cost of repairs instead of pressing charges in order to get insurance to pay. How can I get my family to respect my choice?
TL;DR SIL confessed to cheating on my brother before she died and people thought it was with me. I was proven to be innocent and my family wants me to forgive my brother despite damaging my property but I don't want to.
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