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I thought to do the same the only issue is that he is coming to sit at all times with me and our mutual friends and that’s the time when he really is taking the piss, also he doesn’t speaks to me when he is alone I guess he feels more powerful with friends around
I would just tell him that I’m not a 2D caricature, and that people can act differently depending on the day or the setting and have a variety of interests. I don’t even understand why he feels compelled to comment on it, it sounds quite annoying. Do you also comment when he does something slightly out of the ordinary? I also find it strange that you somehow know that you’re not your boyfriend’s type. Is that information that he volunteered to you? That’s quite odd. What was his end goal, other than obviously make you feel insecure about yourself for the rest of the relationship? I can’t imagine being in a relationship with somebody and then informing them that they are “not my type.“
I understand being hesitant but that’s not how a healthy relationship works and I told him that. You can’t just “half” give to your girlfriend. I am not the same as her and he knows that
Thank you ❤️
Agreed. This would be exhausting to be with someone like this. I would know… I was married to someone like this. After a decade and a few kids we got divorced and I’m now remarried to someone who is way more sexually compatible with me and I was mad at myself for a long time for staying in that first marriage for so long.
You should not marry this man until he gets actual, real help from a mental health professional. Whatever he's doing IS NOT WORKING. He can't ignore this and expect it to go away.
he thinks he’s too good for it
He's not. He doesn't want to do the work to TRULY help resolve his trauma.
sometimes he’s even mildly physical with shoving or pushing
No. Not acceptable. EVER.
comes back and tells me he didn’t mean anything he said and he’s so sorry and he’ll do better next time
Except he DOESN'T do better. It keeps happening. So when you're wondering if he's genuinely sorry, think about how often this cycle has repeated itself and his promising and failing to do better. The answer is he's not genuinely sorry. If he were, he'd work harder at changing his behavior and he'd be receptive to professional help.
if I go a bit cold or start ignoring his tantrums and pretending they don’t bother me (even though they do) he gets super needy and affectionate and nice
Manipulation. That's what this is. Because yes, he gets that you're thinking about leaving. So he changes for 20 minutes until you change your mind and then goes right back to telling you he hates you.
So while it's not as simple as “just leave,” leaving HAS TO be a serious option.
This is one hell of a r/LeopardsAteMyFace LOL the petty side of me would tell her she reaped what she sowed. But you should probably just ignore her or turn her away. Controlled by an abuser or not, she did something awful that people who are also victims of abuse never do. She is genuinely a garbage person. I don't really think abuse has a role to play aside from instigating her behaviour- she is a bad enough person that she would do it in the first place.
Leave her on read imo
Don’t do it. You will be miserable
Bro you're 18. Just move on.