My(24F) boyfriend(24M) says that I am not allowed to go on vacation with my friends. What should I do?
9KI (24F) was invited to go on vacation with my sister and her friends to go on a 3 day cruise over spring break. I told my boyfriend (24M) that I wanted to go and he immediately shut me down saying that a cruise is just where people get drunk and cheat and get taken advantage of. He also said that my sister will try and push me to cheat on him.
For a little background on the sister situation, I love my sister dearly. She has been in a relationship for 5 years and they are happy and she has a lot more freedom in her relationship than I do. She is allowed to go out to the bar with her friends or basically just do whatever she wants, and I’m basically not allowed to do anything (barely allowed to go out with friends without him accusing me of cheating or being sneaky). So he says that my sister is an attention whore who will talk to any guy and that he isn’t a “spineless bitch” like her boyfriend for letting her go out and do whatever with her friends and guy friends.
I get where he’s coming from but I feel like he is overreacting and really doesn’t know me as a person if he truly thinks I am going to do that, it just seems like he is being really insecure.
The reason he doesn’t trust me is because we went to the bar last year with my sister and her friends and my sister suddenly came and grabbed me and pulled me through the crowd over to this guy. He ended up being a childhood friend (my aunts best friends son). So naturally we were both like omg hi so crazy to see you here, we hadn’t seen him in at least 12 years. And that’s literally all I said to him. Then my sister was like let’s take a pic to send to our aunt and so she took the pic of all of us and then my sisters boyfriend runs over and is like hi I’m X and the childhood friend was nice about it then my boyfriend ran over (I will admit a little bit more aggressively) and said hi I’m Y. The childhood friend freaked out and started cussing him out really bad then was like ur a dick bye it was good to see you guys and hugged me and my sister so quickly I didn’t even know what was going on. It was very weird and we were all so confused.
We got in a huge fight because I didn’t stand up for him or say anything and I “let” him hug me, which I admit I shouldn’t have and should have said something, but I was drunk and this 6ft2 man was screaming at my boyfriend and it was scary???? It all happened so fast. Since then he claims I’m a cheater bc I flirted with him which I didn’t but he won’t be convinced otherwise.
Anyway. So I tell my sister no I’m not going and decide maybe it would be better if I go with my best friend and some other of my friends instead. The same thing happened and started calling them names bc they have boyfriends too and I got angry because he doesn’t even know them he’s never met them. But says he doesn’t have to bc “I don’t surround with myself with good people”
I feel like I am going to miss out on life experiences because of this and I kind of just feel like I’m trapped in a bubble. I get that he has boundaries but I am not even allowed to leave the house without having to explain to him what I’m doing.
Every time we fight about anything I end up having to apologize for even asking or thinking about it.
What should I do?
EDIT:
I want to say thank you to everyone for the advice and for opening my eyes, I have been completely delusional because he continuously made me think that I was in the wrong. You guys have really validated my feelings and it feels so good not thinking that I have been completely crazy this whole time for feeling this way. For the people worried and commenting about us living together, we don't.
I am going to take your advice and dump him and go on the vacation!
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