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Are they the last people on the planet? I highly doubt that. Please find someone (one or more) who will respect you.
Your husband doth protest too muchâŚ
Girl go and enjoy your evening. Donât let him ruin your time with friends. Never let a man control you or guilt you. Say he is being controlling and ridiculous and youâre going. And if he has an issue with you having a social life he can go find another gf. Period. Stand up for yourself.
Itâs on the internet, thatâs not privacy. Sorry to say it
We are the same. Hereâs what I realized. If you are upset about it, you need to verbalize it or youâll harbor negative feelings. If you think you need him to not be friends with her, you need to tell him. Base your next move off of what he responds with. If heâs upset by you needing some peace of mind, he should absolutely understand that. Youâre not unreasonable. You are totally valid in your feelings đ
Did you break up? Your post sounds like maybe you didnât.
I could tell you were raised in some sort of restrictive house due the situation. By 24, most people have learned that unwritten rule that âdatingâ means that person also being able to see other people and yes sleep with them – even if itâs never discussed. Yes itâs the sucky part of dating especially if you are wanting the next stage of commitment.
With that being said, your moral compass isnât wrong nor is his (except for how he told you). Both are acceptable. Boundaries arenât binary and the same for everyone – so it exists in that gray area that makes navigating while dating extremely difficult. Push too hot and the person walks away, donât push enough and you come off uninterested.
He likely told you because he was having some inner conflict over it because he knew your upbringing – otherwise he would have just not said anything. Thatâs good because he was coming clean and wanting that openness with you. Some people arenât good at discussing complicated matters like this because of prior trauma. Some people just shut down when it happens. The best way to approach this is to talk calmly when both parties have had a low stress day and tell them you just be heard and be able to express your emotions calmly on the subject and that doing that is a key part of a healthy relationship – knowing how to have a disagreement and overcome it in a healthy manner. I feel like you and him can easily overcome this bump this as long as you feel heard and understood.
Little story. My husband and I have never really discussed our sexual pasts with each other. Except for one woman – one conversation. We were talking about getting married in a city that this friend lived in. She is a non denominational pastor I think – something religious – which makes this even funnier to me (sorry if that is offensive to you). They had been friends for years. Since both of us are more aligned with being agnostic than religious, I brought up her marrying us since she was already legally allowed to marry us in our state. Then he fessed up. He looked so upset, I could tell he was so worried about losing me over it and was waiting for me to rage (ps I never rage at him – heâs the best). I seriously thought he was going to tell me they hooked up early in our relationship – he traveled a lot the first year of knowing each other, dating, and even after we became official. He told me they had been together after him and his ex broke up, that the next day they both realized it was a massive mistake and never did that again – basically a drunken mistake. I asked one question âwas this before we became a weâ. He said yes, I replied âthatâs pre-me so it doesnât matterâ. He looked like he was about to cry, I just gave him the biggest hug I could muster and said something like âlook we both have pasts, but in my view anything before us becoming an us doesnât matter to me. If you arenât comfortable with her marrying us – thatâs ok.â
A ham sandwich with just a quarter of shit in it is still a shit sandwich. She shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone right now. And you need to learn that love-bombing/reconcile/abuse is the typical cycle of abuse. It's not special, it's not unique, and it's well-known in abusive relationships. You are in an abusive relationship. Get out now.
They're doing this because you're allowing it, op. As long as you go along quietly with everything they'll only escalate the entitlement. Push and push and push boundaries until your break.
Break already, op.
Tell your boyfriend you're done. She needs to move out. That's it. She makes enough to get a small place or move in with the others. But you're done. If he wants to buy a house with you, she's not coming. Ever. He wants to fight you bc of pressure from his family then mommy dearest can be his life partner.
No one's going to put you first until you demand respect and put your foot down.
Except he thinks a woman's last name is her ownership brand, apparently…
We talked about it… didnt read what she talk about with her tbh so i cant have much opinion about breakup…
Ayo OP you realize this isn't your fault right? Just need u to know her behavior wait her HORRIBLE CHILDISH behavior is not a reflection of anything you've done in the relationship.
She sounds like she doesn't even like u. And is holding onto things u do to throw in your face. Like having ppl make jokes with u at the gym. Thats all normal life shit you are always gonna be around and engage with other people. U shouldn't be limiting or even thinking about changing your behavior for someone that explodes on u over nothing.
And it doesn't matter if it's the first time. Verbally assaulting your partner isn't okay at all. And the whole u just want attention thing is pissing me off because whenever us woman get harassed at all that's usually the go to.
“What were u expecting walking around like that u just wanted attention”
I could never personally date a woman especially that thought like that. None of my female exes were ever that stupid and I have a husband and he wouldn't say tht shit ever.
Anyone that thinks you doing anything normal just equates to you wanting to show your body to anyone walking around isn't good partner material. It sounds controlling, insecure and honestly it's generally unattractive.